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Interesting Update on difficult child 2
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 9403" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>SRL, you managed to say what I could not articulate. </p><p>But I also was thinking, too----- </p><p>he has been elsewhere for what seems a while.....and the core family has kind of ....grown......gone forward. while he may have had visit times, that is not quite the same as living there 24-7. His life experiences have been very different, I am sure, by now, from living other places. He very possibly could have different ideas, opinions, thoughts, that might feel foreign to your core family unit that has been living without him. Add this in with his age, a time when children are trying to figure out who they themself are in this big world....</p><p>ANd if he has not had many of the same kinds of rules you have- this could be difficult, and while you might view him as "naughty" if he thinks he should have certain .....um.priveleges etc.....he may view it as ...difficult if he has had those priveleges all this time? </p><p>I am not at all sure I am expressing what I am thinking very well.......</p><p>darn. </p><p>I do know you must be aching inside and so must he, all of you, the whole family. I know none of this can be easy at all. </p><p>whatever you decide to do- I wish you all the very best. </p><p>I do remember once......when dylan was not doing very well.......and IIRC you said I think, that your older son had not ever been quite so difficult------and I also seem to remember you saying something like um....maybe the oldest did not have a diagnosis after all? </p><p>BUT do keep in mind just cuz someone does not have a diagnosis does not mean there is nothing there. It could just mean noone found it. (yet) and for a lot of the things that have been going on all this time------well, you have the sw story, and the school story and his story.....and everyone prolly is most likely trying to cover their own hide. Yes, I am sure he is no angel, but for some of it he may have been simply a pawn. and being a pawn, seems to me would encourage even MORE acting out. </p><p>I am sorry it is such a mess. </p><p>My heart breaks for him.....I think it has had to be terribly frustrating for everyone, but to be a child -----aw darn......I think the system let him down. </p><p>ah but..I am a romatic at heart. </p><p>ignore me. Good luck no matter what.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 9403, member: 1697"] SRL, you managed to say what I could not articulate. But I also was thinking, too----- he has been elsewhere for what seems a while.....and the core family has kind of ....grown......gone forward. while he may have had visit times, that is not quite the same as living there 24-7. His life experiences have been very different, I am sure, by now, from living other places. He very possibly could have different ideas, opinions, thoughts, that might feel foreign to your core family unit that has been living without him. Add this in with his age, a time when children are trying to figure out who they themself are in this big world.... ANd if he has not had many of the same kinds of rules you have- this could be difficult, and while you might view him as "naughty" if he thinks he should have certain .....um.priveleges etc.....he may view it as ...difficult if he has had those priveleges all this time? I am not at all sure I am expressing what I am thinking very well....... darn. I do know you must be aching inside and so must he, all of you, the whole family. I know none of this can be easy at all. whatever you decide to do- I wish you all the very best. I do remember once......when dylan was not doing very well.......and IIRC you said I think, that your older son had not ever been quite so difficult------and I also seem to remember you saying something like um....maybe the oldest did not have a diagnosis after all? BUT do keep in mind just cuz someone does not have a diagnosis does not mean there is nothing there. It could just mean noone found it. (yet) and for a lot of the things that have been going on all this time------well, you have the sw story, and the school story and his story.....and everyone prolly is most likely trying to cover their own hide. Yes, I am sure he is no angel, but for some of it he may have been simply a pawn. and being a pawn, seems to me would encourage even MORE acting out. I am sorry it is such a mess. My heart breaks for him.....I think it has had to be terribly frustrating for everyone, but to be a child -----aw darn......I think the system let him down. ah but..I am a romatic at heart. ignore me. Good luck no matter what. [/QUOTE]
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