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Intermittent explosive disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 109477" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi TAM and welcome! So glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Teens are just such a challenge, on a good day. Balancing supervision of them, which is in my experience anyway always seen as nagging, with letting go a bit so they start being more responsible and accountable (talking about school here) is like walking a tightwire. I'm currently backing off with- my 13 y/o, who "has it under control" - not. But I'm just dumb Mom, so we're going to let him see how under control things really are - short-term, about a half a quarter doing it his way. Hopefully he'll be a bit more receptive when he sees the results. I'll let you know if it works, LOL. :wink:</p><p></p><p>Does the wrestling team have academic standards? Did your son try to work it out with teacher at all? I'd try to put this more on his shoulders, try to guide him to learning to solve his own problems? I know, it's really really hard because they can get just so defensive.</p><p></p><p>As far as the violence - it has to stop. Being out of control will never be a viable excuse for him as an adult - at 14, it shouldn't be either. I would guess that it's pretty scary for you and your daughter, and probably him too. Concrete consequeces, logical if possible. He will pay for repair of holes in walls or repair them himself (if you're a handy kind of person). I would give some kind of consequence also in terms of no video games for a day or no computer or... something that is a valuable activity for him. He needs to learn to control his anger.</p><p></p><p>Would it be possible for you to find a new counselor for him? in my humble opinion, the whole point of therapy is to learn new strategies for dealing with the challenges of life and behaviors that detract from quality of life. I with you, a break is a good thing but there needs to be a discussion of and hopefully resolution of the issue soon thereafter. Calm measured problem solving and figuring out how to handle it better next time. Counselor should, in my humble opinion, be working on this pretty aggressively.</p><p></p><p>Has he had a psychiatric evaluation? He's had a lot of changes in his life fairly recently and they can be hard on anyone. I'm wondering if depression might be playing a part here. Any family history of depression or mood disorders? That can predispose kids. </p><p></p><p>Again, welcome and so glad you found us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 109477, member: 8"] Hi TAM and welcome! So glad you found us. Teens are just such a challenge, on a good day. Balancing supervision of them, which is in my experience anyway always seen as nagging, with letting go a bit so they start being more responsible and accountable (talking about school here) is like walking a tightwire. I'm currently backing off with- my 13 y/o, who "has it under control" - not. But I'm just dumb Mom, so we're going to let him see how under control things really are - short-term, about a half a quarter doing it his way. Hopefully he'll be a bit more receptive when he sees the results. I'll let you know if it works, LOL. [img]:wink:[/img] Does the wrestling team have academic standards? Did your son try to work it out with teacher at all? I'd try to put this more on his shoulders, try to guide him to learning to solve his own problems? I know, it's really really hard because they can get just so defensive. As far as the violence - it has to stop. Being out of control will never be a viable excuse for him as an adult - at 14, it shouldn't be either. I would guess that it's pretty scary for you and your daughter, and probably him too. Concrete consequeces, logical if possible. He will pay for repair of holes in walls or repair them himself (if you're a handy kind of person). I would give some kind of consequence also in terms of no video games for a day or no computer or... something that is a valuable activity for him. He needs to learn to control his anger. Would it be possible for you to find a new counselor for him? in my humble opinion, the whole point of therapy is to learn new strategies for dealing with the challenges of life and behaviors that detract from quality of life. I with you, a break is a good thing but there needs to be a discussion of and hopefully resolution of the issue soon thereafter. Calm measured problem solving and figuring out how to handle it better next time. Counselor should, in my humble opinion, be working on this pretty aggressively. Has he had a psychiatric evaluation? He's had a lot of changes in his life fairly recently and they can be hard on anyone. I'm wondering if depression might be playing a part here. Any family history of depression or mood disorders? That can predispose kids. Again, welcome and so glad you found us! [/QUOTE]
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