Intervention update

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by worried sick mother, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    He went to rehab! He's on a plane now headed to California. The intervention was a real challenge with his biological father but my son was humble and agreed to go. He denies being addicted though but on our long ride to the airport he was having terrible withdrawal symptoms. He's in denial about how often he uses. He opened up to me a lot today and he was in more danger than I can even comprehend. I was looking at my son who was always made me so proud and watching him withdrawal from heroin. I feel like I have to be having a terrible nightmare. I found out that he's possibly in trouble with the law and I ask him if that's why he agreed to go and he said part of the reason. The rehab said as long as you get him here it doesn't matter. His girlfriend refused to go home with her family and he was dying over leaving her. Tell me the truth do you guys think he only went to avoid trouble with the law? Could it still help even if that is the reason?
  2. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    My daughter gets a look of disgust on her face at any mention of rehab or shelters. So, from where I am sitting, the fact that he got on the plane is hopeful. A lot of this depends on him, if he decides to go through with rehab or not. Anything is possible, dear. Fingers, toes and everything crossable crossed and hoping for the best for your son. One day at a time. Prayers going up and know that I am hoping for the best! May your son break free from this........
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think its hopeful that he went. Do you watch the show? I believe the key to their doing well is listing the consequences if he wont stay clean and then sticking to them. He will consider these consequences while he is in rehab...if he trusts you will stand firm.
    That he is on his way should give you hope. Just dont back down if he leaves or tries to involve you in any enabling. The show allegedly has a 70 per cent success rate. If true, thats quite high.
    Hugs and prayers.
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2016
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The interventionist that we used said only 15% of addicts go into treatment voluntarily. Most are either court ordered or pushed by their families to get help.

    Yes, he is probably going because he is running out of options and is in trouble with the law. But he still didn't have to go so this is a good thing. Getting off the drugs will clear his mind and then he may be more open to getting clean.

    It might not work the first time but he will gain something from it and who knows? He might be one of the ones that gets it the first time.

    Depending on how long and heavy he was into opiates, he may need medical management to stay clean. From what I have been reading, that is becoming the standard protocol. You might want to ask his therapist about Vivitrol or some kind of maintenance medication.

    Use this time to take a deep breath and relax knowing he is safe and in treatment.

  5. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Him being there is better than him not being there, whatever the reason.
  6. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    Thank you for the encouraging words everyone. His plane just landed, I am up making sure they get him. He will go to detox first , they will take his phone and he doesn't know this yet, I'm so afraid that will make him want to leave. He gets it back when he enters rehab. His girlfriend is refusing that she needs help to her family. It would be best if he got clean and didn't want to be with her anymore but since chances are that won't happen I wish she would get help too. This is all so unfair!
  7. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    What a relief it must have been for you and your family when he got on the plane! I am so happy for you and I understand you are probably feeling a whole host of emotions from relief to also guarded hope that he truly wants the help and not because of the possibility of being in trouble with the law.
    This is ironic as just this week I spoke to the owner of 6 Rehab/Recovery Homes -one of the good reputable facilities as not all are. My son had impending breech/theft charges against him and was sent to Detox (he lasted less than 24 hrs and bolted). Then he became paranoid the police were after him. I had called several facilities and I found an angel by the name of C.
    C's story was he was a meth addict for over 20 years, had not spoken to his parents in 15 , was in trouble with the law and chances were he was to go back to jail or choose Rehab. He said the threat of jail was the force that made him change his ways. Not only did he change but he went on to be the owner/operator of 6 Recovery Homes and has been clean for 10 years.

    C tried to contact my son and left him various messages(not sure how as my son didn't have a phone) eventually T, my son did show up on his doorstep seeking help. Overall, yes it's better if it's the addicts idea to seek help perhaps but sometimes they are unable to make the decisions themselves and interventions are necessary. What works for some may not work for others. I thought I'd share C's story with you as in his case trouble with the law was the force that made him change. So to answer your question - Yes it may possibly help. I pray that your son's Rehab is successful and hugs to you.
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  8. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Heartfelt prayers sent up for your son that he will take this opportunity, get clean and stay clean.
    One step, one day at a time.
    Breathe WSM. Take this time to regain your strength and peace of mind.
    Thinking positive that you and your son are going to be okay.
  9. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Prayers for your son too, Nature that he is able to stay with C's program and see it all the way through. It is good that T sought out help on his own. A very good sign.

  10. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    My daughter was court ordered though she tested dirty for a drug test on purpose to get there. Nonetheless, lots of women at her rehab were court ordered and after they were clean and experienced a different life, they didn't want to go back. My daughter can't believe now how she used to live. At one time, she too have a look of disgust at the mention of rehab. Even when she was first in jail being offered rehab she didn't want to go. He is there and that is wonderful!
    I don't agree with them having a phone at all in rehab. None of the women were allowed phones until after they completed their program. They got one five minute phone call home every other Thursday and visitation was every other Saturday. They would then earn weekend passes home. It worked for them. Very strict, but it is what my daughter needed...
    Rest easy now and let the professionals take over... :)
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  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Patriotsgirl, your daughter, like mine, had hit her own rock bottom. Plus there was this awesome young mother who wanted to be able to BE that person I am still so happy for all of you and so glad to hear your story again and again.

    Getting them to go to rehab is a big part of the battle, worriedsick. Sometimes (not always) once the drugs are out of their sysems and the urge to use is gone, they are then able to make clearheaded, better choices,

    No, it doesnt always help, but your son went because, on some level, he is tired if using, that matters. Also kudos to you and ex. You got him to go! Nobody, regardless of outcome, can say you didnt try everything within your power.

    Crossing every body part possible that your son takees this chance and runs with it. Good luck to all of you.
  12. so ready to live

    so ready to live Active Member

    Hi Worried. Do the reasons he went matter right now? He went. This is so much better than where he was yesterday on the path! We rejoice with you today at this new beginning. I get "cautiously hopeful", we've been disappointed so many times. BUT today you and he have a new reality for now, and now is all we have. Many get clean and well. A little bit of all of us is with you today. Prayers.
  13. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Hi Worried, people end up going to rehab for all sorts of reasons. My son has been in rehab multiple times.....and I think it always helps, at least it gives them some time to clear their head and think about what they really want in their future.

    I think it is important for you to realize this path of recovery is a journey.... It is usually not a one shot deal. So your hope I am sure is that this rehab is it, this is going to be it, he will get clean, stay clean and go on with is productive life. It may not happen that way.... Like I said it is a journey often with missteps along the way and that is ok. The important thing is that he has started on this journey and that is good no matter what his initial motivations are.
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  14. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I agree with toughlovin. I thought my son's first rehab would do it and I was sorely wrong but it's what we knew at the time. It's a move in the right direction.

    My son went to rehab this last time because it was either that or eviction. I was able to gain strength to give him that option (and follow through if need be) from the people on this forum. He said he didn't want to be there but he knew he needed to be there after his head cleared which took about 3 weeks total. He is now in sober living and since he's not yet 21 he is very immature and I still don't know if he'll truly change but he's doing good and has a job so I'm being cautiously optimistic.

    They key for us was NOT letting him come back to the same environment. It was our home but not the healthiest place for him. Yes a hard pill to swallow. Now he has goals in life and I really hope he can achieve them and I think he now knows he cannot control his addiction to benzos.

    Take this time to take care of yourself and I pray for your peace and that he does what he needs to do!
  15. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    Glad to hear he went.

    I think having the peace of mind he is there will help you and in time you will start to heal.

    What a nightmare this is for parents. None of us picture these experiences when we bring home our sweet babes. I hope for healing and peace for all parents....

    Take care and get some rest.
  16. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Oh this is so much like my story with my son! He was afraid of jail and went to get help at the fear. He was embarrassed this last time too bc he had been there before and didn't want them to see he relapsed. But the good news is after about a week he was clean, clear headed and remorseful. He has a brand new look on life. So yes, getting them in a good rehab is a great start to a better life! Now it's up to him to want that new life more than anything. Have peace for now and have hope. Don't do anything more than support his sobriety. I'm praying for him.
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