First I must say I was completely unable to come up with a unique username. I stumbled across this site today while researching & have fallen in love with all the helpful information. Finally, something in English that makes sense. I'm really hoping to not write a novel and make sense also.
I will start with the easy part of my life first.
I'm, obviously, Heather. I'm 23. I work parttime at the Public Defender's Office in order to set my schedule around my youngest son's preschool in original hopes this would help towards behaviors. My husband works out of town 5 days a week & I'm lucky enough to do all the parenting aspects alone.
Jaylissa is 7 1/2 years old. She lives with my mom due to my age & inability to parent (mature?) when she was born. However, we're very close & see her daily, etc. She is in 1st grade this year. She was officially diagnosed with ADHD last year. I am strongly against medication & would not allow any to be tried when the diagnosis was made last fall. She has greatly improved with just a change of things at home & is doing awesome in school this year.
Zakarius "Zak" just turned 5 years old this summer. He is in full time Kindergarten this year. However, he's nowhere near ready & spends half of his day in Special Education classes & has a great IEP in place. He been in speech therapy since 2 1/2. Occupational therapy since the age of 3 1/2. And he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at 3. He has many texture issues with foods which presents a great experience at mealtime (he's already a vegetarian by choice). He demands a very good routine in order to avoid any "meltdowns". His talking is awesome. And he's improving in leaps & bounds every day lately.
And that brings us to Alex...
Alex is the entire reason I came across these boards. After everything with Zak I had never dreamt I'd have another child with Special Needs & may have been in denial the last several months.
Alex is 3 1/2 years old & will be 4 in February. He just began going to Preschool this Fall. He was the baby I had dreamed of from about 3-12 months. And then his personality began to come out. And now he's the child I dread having to spend my days with on some occasions.
The first thing that brought this to my attention & out of my subconscience was his teacher telling me they are finally experiencing behavioral problems during school. I was amazed this was just finally occuring & hadn't happened months ago. She said "He is very defiant & is not easy to redirect anymore." When I repeated this to my mom she laughed & commented that I finally have a child just like myself & asked if I was willing to finally consider an ODD & ADHD possibilty. (I was diagnosed at 14 with ODD, ADHD & possible Bipolar. I'm fully unmedicated but have it all completely under control & have for about 3 years.)
This, of course, was a fear I hadn't really wanted to face knowing the hell I was from a VERY young age. I have no doubts in my mind that Alex is ADHD. He has every trait & NEVER stops going until he's fast asleep. However, I find this easy to handle at home. We've eliminated sugar from his diet & he does fairly well.
The ODD is a hard concept for me to grasp. However, after much research he does appear to possibly qualify. I love this child to death, but wow. My family will RARELY keep him. The only person willing to watch him for ANY period of time is my mom. My husband (who is not his biological father) & stepad both believe I am too "lenient" & allow him to get away with murder. They have yet to realize that Alex does not take to any "normal" parenting techniques. I realized at a very young age to pick my battles with him. Spanking is absolutely pointless. Taking away his toys makes no difference. Positive rewards for positive behavior are one of the biggest things you can do for him. Along with listening to what he has to say & rephrasing it in a 3 year olds words "I understand you would like this/feel this, but..." And he's forced to take responsibility for his actions. If he destroys his room he cleans his room.
Alex's main issues are (in no special order)...
**Going out of his way to upset you (I bought a brand new lipgloss & explained to him it was not for his use. Within 2 seconds he had used the whole thing as lotion & then laughed at me.)
**Saying things to purposely upset (His favorite to my stepdad is Ha Ha I can do it if I want to. The newest one I heard regarding school "I don't want to listen so I not going to" or he comes up with some kind of other completely snotty thing)
**If you make him mad you will pay for it (Zak said something to him, so he broke Zak's toy.)
**Saying mean/hateful things when in trouble (I'm generally called a Stupid Jackass or told that about how much he hates me when he's upset. Zak & Jaylissa are always "stupid" now. He hates everyone. Or any other mean comment his 3 year old brain can think of.)
**If I send him to his room he proceeds to absolutely trash it until he's either A. physically stopped B. get bored for being ignored while he does it.
**CONSTANT Arguing (He argues with literally anyone that will give him the time of day. We give a little boy a ride to school & the argument yesterday was the fact the little boy didn't really have a dog)
**He blames EVERYTHING on his brother. I really thought this was *normal*. But it's getting out of hand. I went to eat with a friend & he got in trouble. His first were Zak did it... Zak wasn't even with us & hadn't been for hours.
I'm sure there is more. But you get the idea. The child surely has some red flags which leads me to believe I should have an evaluation done. And with my own diagnosis I'd assume he's at an even higher risk. I just absolute HATE labeling my kids at such a young age. However, I highly believe in early intervention. So, I am highly considering making an appointment with a Child Psychologist. I'm assuming from reading that's who I need to see, right? That may take awhile due to the closest one being 3 hours away & the fact they are always booked up. But after some more reading & good documenting I think this appointment will be made. I hate to see him suffer in school
And, if you've made it this far, wow
Now for my questions....
I'm all about reading books & doing everything I can to avoid any types of medications. I know the Explosive Child book comes HIGHLY recommended from everyone here & the reviews I found. Does anyone believe it would be helpful in this case? He's not extremely "explosive" & if that's all it targets I don't know how much help it would be. But I was thinking I'd order that & see if I could find some assistance.
And are there any other books that anyone feels would be helpful in this instance?
Okay, I really did end up writing a novel. Which is what happens when I decide to write something at 11:30 at night *lol* Thanks in advance for your help AND making it this far through this post!
I will start with the easy part of my life first.
I'm, obviously, Heather. I'm 23. I work parttime at the Public Defender's Office in order to set my schedule around my youngest son's preschool in original hopes this would help towards behaviors. My husband works out of town 5 days a week & I'm lucky enough to do all the parenting aspects alone.
Jaylissa is 7 1/2 years old. She lives with my mom due to my age & inability to parent (mature?) when she was born. However, we're very close & see her daily, etc. She is in 1st grade this year. She was officially diagnosed with ADHD last year. I am strongly against medication & would not allow any to be tried when the diagnosis was made last fall. She has greatly improved with just a change of things at home & is doing awesome in school this year.
Zakarius "Zak" just turned 5 years old this summer. He is in full time Kindergarten this year. However, he's nowhere near ready & spends half of his day in Special Education classes & has a great IEP in place. He been in speech therapy since 2 1/2. Occupational therapy since the age of 3 1/2. And he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia at 3. He has many texture issues with foods which presents a great experience at mealtime (he's already a vegetarian by choice). He demands a very good routine in order to avoid any "meltdowns". His talking is awesome. And he's improving in leaps & bounds every day lately.
And that brings us to Alex...
Alex is the entire reason I came across these boards. After everything with Zak I had never dreamt I'd have another child with Special Needs & may have been in denial the last several months.
Alex is 3 1/2 years old & will be 4 in February. He just began going to Preschool this Fall. He was the baby I had dreamed of from about 3-12 months. And then his personality began to come out. And now he's the child I dread having to spend my days with on some occasions.
The first thing that brought this to my attention & out of my subconscience was his teacher telling me they are finally experiencing behavioral problems during school. I was amazed this was just finally occuring & hadn't happened months ago. She said "He is very defiant & is not easy to redirect anymore." When I repeated this to my mom she laughed & commented that I finally have a child just like myself & asked if I was willing to finally consider an ODD & ADHD possibilty. (I was diagnosed at 14 with ODD, ADHD & possible Bipolar. I'm fully unmedicated but have it all completely under control & have for about 3 years.)
This, of course, was a fear I hadn't really wanted to face knowing the hell I was from a VERY young age. I have no doubts in my mind that Alex is ADHD. He has every trait & NEVER stops going until he's fast asleep. However, I find this easy to handle at home. We've eliminated sugar from his diet & he does fairly well.
The ODD is a hard concept for me to grasp. However, after much research he does appear to possibly qualify. I love this child to death, but wow. My family will RARELY keep him. The only person willing to watch him for ANY period of time is my mom. My husband (who is not his biological father) & stepad both believe I am too "lenient" & allow him to get away with murder. They have yet to realize that Alex does not take to any "normal" parenting techniques. I realized at a very young age to pick my battles with him. Spanking is absolutely pointless. Taking away his toys makes no difference. Positive rewards for positive behavior are one of the biggest things you can do for him. Along with listening to what he has to say & rephrasing it in a 3 year olds words "I understand you would like this/feel this, but..." And he's forced to take responsibility for his actions. If he destroys his room he cleans his room.
Alex's main issues are (in no special order)...
**Going out of his way to upset you (I bought a brand new lipgloss & explained to him it was not for his use. Within 2 seconds he had used the whole thing as lotion & then laughed at me.)
**Saying things to purposely upset (His favorite to my stepdad is Ha Ha I can do it if I want to. The newest one I heard regarding school "I don't want to listen so I not going to" or he comes up with some kind of other completely snotty thing)
**If you make him mad you will pay for it (Zak said something to him, so he broke Zak's toy.)
**Saying mean/hateful things when in trouble (I'm generally called a Stupid Jackass or told that about how much he hates me when he's upset. Zak & Jaylissa are always "stupid" now. He hates everyone. Or any other mean comment his 3 year old brain can think of.)
**If I send him to his room he proceeds to absolutely trash it until he's either A. physically stopped B. get bored for being ignored while he does it.
**CONSTANT Arguing (He argues with literally anyone that will give him the time of day. We give a little boy a ride to school & the argument yesterday was the fact the little boy didn't really have a dog)
**He blames EVERYTHING on his brother. I really thought this was *normal*. But it's getting out of hand. I went to eat with a friend & he got in trouble. His first were Zak did it... Zak wasn't even with us & hadn't been for hours.
I'm sure there is more. But you get the idea. The child surely has some red flags which leads me to believe I should have an evaluation done. And with my own diagnosis I'd assume he's at an even higher risk. I just absolute HATE labeling my kids at such a young age. However, I highly believe in early intervention. So, I am highly considering making an appointment with a Child Psychologist. I'm assuming from reading that's who I need to see, right? That may take awhile due to the closest one being 3 hours away & the fact they are always booked up. But after some more reading & good documenting I think this appointment will be made. I hate to see him suffer in school
And, if you've made it this far, wow
Now for my questions....
I'm all about reading books & doing everything I can to avoid any types of medications. I know the Explosive Child book comes HIGHLY recommended from everyone here & the reviews I found. Does anyone believe it would be helpful in this case? He's not extremely "explosive" & if that's all it targets I don't know how much help it would be. But I was thinking I'd order that & see if I could find some assistance.
And are there any other books that anyone feels would be helpful in this instance?
Okay, I really did end up writing a novel. Which is what happens when I decide to write something at 11:30 at night *lol* Thanks in advance for your help AND making it this far through this post!
