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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 459490" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome! No flames from us - we know it can be hard to jump in and we don't expect you to remember all of us right away. That is part of the reason we all have signatures - we have trouble keeping each other straight sometimes too! This is the most accepting, supportive, informative and loving group you could ever find. We ALL have been there done that in some way and we get it where most people just don't.</p><p></p><p>As far as letting the kids see you argue, it depends on if it is a bad thing or a good thing. It is bad if you fight disrespectfully or about a child's behavior in front of the kids. Seeing you disagree and work out a compromise on other issues is how most kids will learn to handle problems with others, esp with their future partners/spouses. </p><p></p><p>He is a very lucky kid to have you in his life - it is obvious that you truly love him. </p><p></p><p>He really seems, from your description, to fit an Asperger's diagnosis. Now we are NOT professionals who can give the diagnosis, but he sure sounds a LOT like many aspie's I know. Look up the disorder on google and read about it - esp anything by Tony Attwood or Temple Grandin. They are incredible.</p><p></p><p>Having you step in and stop physical violence against his mom is an awesome thing. My husband was not able to do that because he gets so angry if he thinks someone is going to hurt me that he was always terrified he would hurt my difficult child. So he kept the other kids away from us and I handled the rages. Good think that I am pretty bull-headed and hard to intimidate, but having you there as a steady influence who won't tolerate that is a great thing.</p><p></p><p>Often when an aspie is violent it stems from huge frustration. They have a terribly hard time grasping social rules - and the ones they do grasp may only make sense to them. </p><p></p><p>I also strongly recommend reading Parenting Your Child with Love and Logic - and any other books written by the same people. You can see all of their titles at <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a> . It is much more effective long term, in my opinion, than the 1-2-3 stuff or any of the other things except The explosive Child and What your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You.</p><p></p><p>Oh, the schools will NOT tell you this, but if they insist your child take medications or he cannot come to school then the school MUST pay for the medications. They CANNOT demand that you pay for the medications if they make it a condition of his education. I am sure some school officials don't know this, but it is NOT a state rule - it is federal. </p><p></p><p>Welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 459490, member: 1233"] Welcome! No flames from us - we know it can be hard to jump in and we don't expect you to remember all of us right away. That is part of the reason we all have signatures - we have trouble keeping each other straight sometimes too! This is the most accepting, supportive, informative and loving group you could ever find. We ALL have been there done that in some way and we get it where most people just don't. As far as letting the kids see you argue, it depends on if it is a bad thing or a good thing. It is bad if you fight disrespectfully or about a child's behavior in front of the kids. Seeing you disagree and work out a compromise on other issues is how most kids will learn to handle problems with others, esp with their future partners/spouses. He is a very lucky kid to have you in his life - it is obvious that you truly love him. He really seems, from your description, to fit an Asperger's diagnosis. Now we are NOT professionals who can give the diagnosis, but he sure sounds a LOT like many aspie's I know. Look up the disorder on google and read about it - esp anything by Tony Attwood or Temple Grandin. They are incredible. Having you step in and stop physical violence against his mom is an awesome thing. My husband was not able to do that because he gets so angry if he thinks someone is going to hurt me that he was always terrified he would hurt my difficult child. So he kept the other kids away from us and I handled the rages. Good think that I am pretty bull-headed and hard to intimidate, but having you there as a steady influence who won't tolerate that is a great thing. Often when an aspie is violent it stems from huge frustration. They have a terribly hard time grasping social rules - and the ones they do grasp may only make sense to them. I also strongly recommend reading Parenting Your Child with Love and Logic - and any other books written by the same people. You can see all of their titles at [url]www.loveandlogic.com[/url] . It is much more effective long term, in my opinion, than the 1-2-3 stuff or any of the other things except The explosive Child and What your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You. Oh, the schools will NOT tell you this, but if they insist your child take medications or he cannot come to school then the school MUST pay for the medications. They CANNOT demand that you pay for the medications if they make it a condition of his education. I am sure some school officials don't know this, but it is NOT a state rule - it is federal. Welcome! [/QUOTE]
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