My stepsons are my difficult children. I have been in their lives for 5 years now and the realization has finally hit me that their issues cannot be corrected by just having a good mom in their lives. The oldest (15) was abused by his bio mom and he has not had any contact with her since I believe he was around 4. The younger one (10), his bio mom sounds to me like she was neglectful to him. She would let him run around with full diapers, ignore him and let him cry. My husband has full custody of both of them. The younger does see his mother every other weekend. When my husband and I decided to get married, I knew that there were some issues with the boys, but I naively thought that all they needed was a good mother figure in their lives and everything would fall into place. I was so stupid. The oldest smokes cigarettes, does drugs (we know about pot but there may be more), cuts class, fails subjects because he refuses to do homework, and is sexually active. He will tell you what you want to hear to your face and then just do whatever he wants to anyway. The school is constantly calling about detention, or suspension and nothing we do can change him. He is disrespectful to us and mean to his brother and sisters. He thinks he can treat people however he wants and that we should just be fine with that. I feel it is just a matter of time until the police are involved. The youngest has ADHD and severe language delay. He is in 5th grade and is reading on an early 3rd grade level. He is SO difficult. Everything is an argument. He is inflexible and defiant. He has said the most terrible things to me. He is manipulative and sneaky. I am afraid to let my youngest daughter play alone with him out of my sight because he bullys her. I realize how this probably sounds, like I am the Evil Stepmother. But I truly love these boys and they are MY sons in my heart. I am so heartbroken that I can't help them. The chaos and drama that they create in our home is too much. I am a quiet, calm, peaceful person by nature. But that does not fly in our house. That gets you chewed up and spit out. Now I am sad, depressed, short tempered. I beat myself up constantly that I am probably screwing up my daughters now also by exposing them to all of this. So many times I want to just leave. If I took my daughters and left, I know we would be happy. But I love my husband and they love him also. I could go into more details, and I'm sure I will in the future. Thank you for listening.