introducing myself

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by heavensentme5, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. heavensentme5

    heavensentme5 New Member

    <span style='font-family: Georgia'> </span>
    Hi, I'm Korrie. Tired, single mom to 4 high-energy and high needs kids. My middle child, a 5 1/2 yr old son, is making me crazy today. He has ADHD, ODD and sensory integration dysfunction. He goes to Occupational Therapist (OT) once a week for fine motor delays and sensory integration.
    First, let me describe my kiddos: :smile: I adore them , of course. I have 2 girls who are 7 1/2 yrs old. They are my 2 remaining triplets. They were preemies and their triplet brother passed away when they were 10 days old. Both girls have lingering effects of being 16 weeks early. One has ADHD, fine and gross motor delays up to 3 years and sensory integration dysfunction. She sees an Occupational Therapist (OT) and PT weekly. She is seeing a neurologist this week to determine if she has cerebral palsy (CP). She is also in the process (once school starts again) of being evaluated for learning disabilities; specifically in math. My other daughter has very poor vision (not yet low vision but getting closer) and is also seeing the neurologist this week to determine if she has ADD. I know she does,it's her father that needs the "official diagnosis." Then there's my 2 boys- The 5 1/2 yr old that I mentioned and my 4 1/2 yr old son who has Down syndrome. He's very sweet, adorable,smart and mischievous. He loves to imitate everything (good AND bad) that big brother does.
    We have 2 cats and 1 dog. The dog is just as hyper as the kids. She's a Jack Russell.
    My 5 yr old was THRILLED when we got her. He's been asking for a dog for a couple of years but I didn't want the added work and I prefer cats. But she belonged to my boyfriend and she's really sweet.She's becoming a behavior issue as well... :rolleyes: can dogs have ADHD?? LOL My son is now deliberately bothering the dog, teasing her, etc. She is very defensive around him and grols at him. Then he gets scared. My younger son gets nipped at/snapped at several times a day by the dog. He's learning to avoid her when she's eating or chewing abone. I've been training the dog to obey me-she's stubborn and willful too. But she has definitely targeted my boys as people to avoid or attack if they get near. :-( We may have to give her back to my boyfriend if the boys (specifically my 5 yr old) can't behave better with her.
    Anyway, that's our family. :) They go to their father every other weekend and one night a week every week. So I get a break and so does the dog. LOL But my 5 yr old seems to be escalating this summer with the negative behaviors. I thought part of it was adjusting to returning from an extended stay with dad for the summer but he should be back in routine by now and he's not. He starts kindergarten this year as well.
    Oh, I have ADHD, sensory integration dysfunction and a learning disability as well. :) And I'm a Special Education teacher. LOL figures...
  2. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Welcome to the group! I'm sorry your 5 1/2 year old is driving you crazy today! I'm sure others will be along shortly to welcome you.
  3. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Just have time to stop and say hi. Glad you found us and hope we can be a support for the hard work of bringing up these wonderful kiddos of ours. Got no experience with the ADHD stuff, but the sensory - it's so much fun when heat bugs them, cold bugs them, sounds bug them, clothes bug them, foods bug them and on and on sometimes. LOL Hope you can get the kids to figure out how the treat the dog better. We had a terrier when we were kids, smart and could he do tricks WOW. But yeah, he could be stubborn. Maybe you could look for an obedience class that teaches both the dog and kids how to behave with each other. I got each of our pets with the sure knowledge that though it was supposed to be for the kids, they were actually going to be my responsibility to make sure they were cared for. Do make the kids care for the cats more than they have for the dog and rabbit.

    Anyway, got to run. Again, welcome to a wonderful site. :flower:
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, Korrie. Just saying hi in passing on a very busy morning (my time down under).

    You really have your hands full! You've found a great place for support and information. Browse around the archives and other forums while you're waiting for people to get back to you.

    I do have a question for you to ponder - has there been a thorough evaluation done yet? At this stage you have a list of what are basically sub-sets of a number os possible disorders. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and ADHD-like stuff often goes hand in hand with other conditions such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), for example.

    Right now in our house, we're dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ADHD, ADD, ODD, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and other stuff, all coming under the umbrella of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in its various forms, in three of my four kids. The broader label has helped me understand better.

    Anyway, welcome. Stick around!

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my welcome. Your plate is full and I'm sorry your 5 year old is struggling right now. Glad you found us as you will find much support here.
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Welcome, Korrie!

    Just wanted to pop in and offer my support. You certainly have a lot on your plate! I admire the hard work you must do to raise four difficult children.

    So sorry you had to find us, but glad you did. This is a soft place to land.
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Adding my hello and welcome! :smile:
  8. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Welcome. If you haven't done so, get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There's a thread about adapting it to younger children at the top of the Early Childhood board which may help.

    It sounds like this might not be the best time to add a dog to the family mix. Or perhaps consider a dog of a breed and age that might be more suitable for your situation.
  9. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Welcome, looking foorward to getting to know you better, this is a wonderful site.
  10. --Eleanor--

    --Eleanor-- New Member

    Hi Korrie:

    Just wanted to say hi and that I'm dealing with kid/dog issues, as well. My son and our 9 month old bulldog are currently working out their relationship. I'm working with a dog trainer who works with me, my son and the dog all together. It is important for the dog to understand where she belongs in the pack. She clearly recognizes me as the "alpha dog" but she wants to be more "alpha" than my son. So the trainer is not just teaching the dog to obey commands, but also teaching my son how to be dominant over the dog. It is an interesting dynamic!

    Best of luck!
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Korrie! Glad you found us.

    Thanks for all the info on your family. It will help me remember you. However, to keep my mind sharp - I ask that you put some of that info in your profile. It will help to recall some facts when trying to help with your difficult child questions. Ages, medications, diagnosis', etc.

    I am sorry for your loss of one of your triplets. I lost a son as well. There is no other pain like it.

    I think it is time to give the dog back. No matter what is possible as far as training it - you do not need the extra tasks of caring for an animal. I do not think you can take the chance of the dog biting one of your kids or biting someone else and then you have a lawsuit to deal with. If the dog was easy going and added peace to your life that would be one thing.

    What specifically is your difficult child doing that has you stressed at this time? You say he came back from dad's a bit different - did anything happen there? It does not have to be anything - I used to call it 'de-programming' my difficult child when she got back home. Just seems they tend to get a bit hyped up when returning to their normal routine.
  12. heavensentme5

    heavensentme5 New Member

    Hi Marg,thanks for the welcome. Actually today I started to accept that my difficult child ( 5 1/2 yr old) may also have Asperger's. His Occupational Therapist (OT) suggested Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) several months ago. I mentioned the possability of AS today and she looked shocked and said " I never thought of that but yes..." We go to the neurologist tomorrow for my girls and I'm going to make another appointment for him as well. Their father will hit the roof but he can go jump in a lake at this point. :p difficult child doesn't call him a " freaking idiot" because he has to go to bed and can no longer look at NHL/hockey stuff on the internet.
    It's 11 pm and my difficult child 7 1/2 yo daughter is awake and being a spitfire.... ugh.
  13. heavensentme5

    heavensentme5 New Member

    Hi thanks for the book suggestion. I actually have that book and I'm currently reading it. It's great! I've been using it with my difficult child son and I havent' really had to modify stuff yet. ( I read the thread the other day too.) :) I have about 20 books about ADD/ADHD as well. :)
  14. heavensentme5

    heavensentme5 New Member

    my littlest son gets nipped quite frequently by the dog- several times it was unprovoked. Today she bit him on the face and made a tiny hole in his lip. Last week she bit his tongue when he stuck it out at her. :-( I know, I'm an idiot for keeping her and my boyfriend says I should give up too. LOL I hate to admit I've given up but I also know my children's safety has to come first. The dog is totally loveable with me and my girls but she is definitely out to get the boys now. She is just not used to kids so young. The boyfriend's kids are high school and college aged. And I've started to open the discussion with the kids about the dog going back- they knew from the start it was a possability- but the girls get SO upset! I feel like such a rotten mommy but I know that if she gets scared enough my little one ( or any of them) could be seriously harmed. They are going to daddy this weekend. I can have them say good bye tomorrow and have boyfriend take her over the weekend. I love her too so I'm going to be just as upset but she really is a handful- digging out of the backyard, the aggression....

    I think the reason my difficult child is stressing me so much is because of issues with the dog, my 4 yr facing surgery next week, my 7 yr old facing a possilbe diagnosis of cerebral palsy and today the pulmonologist gaveme yet ANOTHER possible health issue regarding her - pectus excavatum? ( sunken chest) I need to call tomorrow for a more detailed discussion of that. Then I'm completing an online course (2, actually) for my Master's degree and to resolve issues with my teaching certification so I can get it transfered to Texas. I'm also looking for a new job- my previous district did not renew my contract due to out of state cert. So I lose health insurance on myself in 2 weeks- I NEED my medications too!! And my paychecks run out after 2 more pay periods. :-( I'm seriously stressing myself and difficult child;s added naughtiness is only ramping it up. The girls are blaming him for the dog having to leave too. I'm trying to defuse that one as well... :surprise:

    Nothing happened at Daddy's that I'm aware of but he usually (difficult child) has difficulty with the transitions back and forth. Anyway... exhausted here.Thanks for the welcome and head's up. :)

    Thank you to all for the welcomes. I'd love to respond to everyone but I'm just wiped out right now.
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It sounds like it's not so much difficult child's fault about the dog, but simply circumstances. The kids are just too young, for the dog's understanding. Some dogs cope, others do not. I had a dog when I was a baby, who was almost my nanny. I could do anything to that dog. I only have dim memories of him but I do remember sitting in the garden ON the dog (we were both on the ground) and pulling at various bits of him while my sister took a photo. When I look at the photo I can see how young I was - less than two. I would pull his teeth, try to grab his tongue (too slippery) and stick my fingers as far down his ears as I could, but he would always flick his head. But he never got up and walked away, never growled. Just sat there and took it.

    Unless the dog is this tolerant, it's got to go. For the sake of the dog, for the sake of the boys and even for the girls too, so they can learn that compromises are necessary and to blame people is not correct. If the dog stays, you're stressed, the boys are always in trouble (and tense) and the dog is also wired up and stressed. All this feeds back and forth getting worse for all. A break form each other is needed.
    Sending the dog away needn't be a permanent parting - surely they can meet in a park sometimes? Supervised play? When the boys are older and a bit more aware, they could learn to play with the dog more appropriately. But forcing it now - it undermines future chances.

    Good luck with the assessments all round - very stressful.

    The sunken chest - difficult child 3 had a teacher who I think has that. I never asked her, but it's really obvious (to me) in summer. She's still quite young but very senior in the school. I think I remember her saying she gets asthma sometimes. I've never seen her ill, though.

  16. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I wanted to add my welcome. :salute:

    :rofl: Ain't that the truth?!! We had a knock-down-drag-out this morning because I bought the wrong conditioner. There is only one out there that makes her hair feel "ok". I offered to just shave her head. For some reason, she was not amused. :smile:
  17. heavensentme5

    heavensentme5 New Member

    So I caved and the dog is stillhere. My 5 1/2 yr old difficult child is still torturing her. My 4 1/2 yr old came thru his surgery with flying colors. :) we were home in 24 hours. The neurologist appointment went as well as could be expected with 4 rambunctious kiddos tearing up the place..... the neuro agrees with me that "easy child" 7 1/2 yo has ADD. Wrote an RX for adderall XR. Daddy hit the ceiling. According to my divorce decree though he can't do squat about it. :p But the neuro had a shocker for me. He thinks that difficult child daughter with ADHD also has Aspergers!! I never saw that one coming.. I'm still trying to accept or refute it. He agreed on the pectus excavatum and the cerebral palsy too. :-( So she has an MRI scheduled for next week. difficult child son has a neuro appointment next week too. I'm betting Aspergers for him as well. If it's not that, I'm hoping the DR doesn't tell me he's a future axe murderer, in light of his behavior with the dog.

    As for seeing the dog on neutral ground, if my boyfriend takes her back, he isn't keeping her either. :-( She will go to a JRT rescue organization. It may be best for her but the girls and I have grown attached to her. My youngest loves her too and she was actually very good with him yesterday when it was just he and I with her. It's my 5 yr old that causes the trouble. :-(