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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 104711" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Welcome, we all understand! I think you will get lots of good advice here and the support you need.</p><p></p><p>My 19 yr old dtr also lives with a difficult child boyfriend. The difference is I have gotten over the guilt and in a process that took about a year after she moved out I removed all financial help and basically told her she was on her own, don't come to me anymore for anything. Guess what? She got the message and now she and the boyfriend somehow support themselves and she feels much better about herself. She is confident and really nice to be around. She is not verbally abusive to me anymore, in fact just the opposite. I had accepted the fact that she would probably hate me and never talk to me again once I kicked her out of the house and then quit helping her. Well, that didn't happen--I think it made her respect me that she couldn't just walk all over me anymore. When you stand up to your difficult child I think it will make a big difference--you cannot allow the guilt you feel to make you into a doormat. As you know, if you give an inch she will take a mile and will not treat you nicely for it either.</p><p></p><p>Let us know what you need, we are here for you!</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 104711, member: 3450"] Welcome, we all understand! I think you will get lots of good advice here and the support you need. My 19 yr old dtr also lives with a difficult child boyfriend. The difference is I have gotten over the guilt and in a process that took about a year after she moved out I removed all financial help and basically told her she was on her own, don't come to me anymore for anything. Guess what? She got the message and now she and the boyfriend somehow support themselves and she feels much better about herself. She is confident and really nice to be around. She is not verbally abusive to me anymore, in fact just the opposite. I had accepted the fact that she would probably hate me and never talk to me again once I kicked her out of the house and then quit helping her. Well, that didn't happen--I think it made her respect me that she couldn't just walk all over me anymore. When you stand up to your difficult child I think it will make a big difference--you cannot allow the guilt you feel to make you into a doormat. As you know, if you give an inch she will take a mile and will not treat you nicely for it either. Let us know what you need, we are here for you! Jane [/QUOTE]
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