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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 392871" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I really want to smack some health professionals. If this is Asperger's, then you NEED the label so you know exactly how to help this child. You can't change a child's behaviour by wishing it so. Similarly, the aggressive behaviour you describe is often the result of extreme frustration and it requires a different handling. If this is instead simply a wilful child, then punishment would make more sense. But suspension or expulsion is not warranted, if tis is a child who needs help and is not getting it.</p><p></p><p>You've been lurking, you say, so you know we often recommend books like 'The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. </p><p></p><p>In my experience, therapy can help a lot. But the best therapy in our experience has been what we put in place ourselves at home. You can't have the therapist live in, but you can become the therapist in residence while you wait for the professionals to get their act together. Use the professionals as a back-up, but don't rely on them to fix things. They don't know your child as well as you do. Have faith in your own capability, but use what resources you can get hold of. Do not allow your child to be victimised because of behaviour he cannot control, but again, do not allow that behaviour to continue. For a while you may need to have a policy of interference being run (deflect, remove) until he learns some measure of self control and management of his frustration. Unstructured activity is often a problem for these kids. So is bullying. It needs careful watching and, until he can cope with it, some measure of insulation from it.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site (officially) and give us more specifics.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 392871, member: 1991"] I really want to smack some health professionals. If this is Asperger's, then you NEED the label so you know exactly how to help this child. You can't change a child's behaviour by wishing it so. Similarly, the aggressive behaviour you describe is often the result of extreme frustration and it requires a different handling. If this is instead simply a wilful child, then punishment would make more sense. But suspension or expulsion is not warranted, if tis is a child who needs help and is not getting it. You've been lurking, you say, so you know we often recommend books like 'The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. In my experience, therapy can help a lot. But the best therapy in our experience has been what we put in place ourselves at home. You can't have the therapist live in, but you can become the therapist in residence while you wait for the professionals to get their act together. Use the professionals as a back-up, but don't rely on them to fix things. They don't know your child as well as you do. Have faith in your own capability, but use what resources you can get hold of. Do not allow your child to be victimised because of behaviour he cannot control, but again, do not allow that behaviour to continue. For a while you may need to have a policy of interference being run (deflect, remove) until he learns some measure of self control and management of his frustration. Unstructured activity is often a problem for these kids. So is bullying. It needs careful watching and, until he can cope with it, some measure of insulation from it. Welcome to the site (officially) and give us more specifics. Marg [/QUOTE]
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