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General Parenting
Introduction by WhattodoWhattodo
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 180535" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ".... me being a bit controlling ....." <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I often find myself saying, "I don't have time to deal with this!" I think I tend to be a bit controlling at times also. Seems like our kids have all the time in the world to hold their own and we have no time to follow through. We have to be able to stop everything and let them know that no matter how long it takes, we want them to be able to follow directions.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think super strict is the answer but neither is ignoring and hoping it will go away on its own. Some creative discipline in between just for her will work - problem is we just don't know yet what that is.</p><p> </p><p>Continue to be consistent and calm. Try to be one step ahead of her and find creative ways to keep her positive. She may get overwhelmed easily so lots of transitional warnings. Approach everything in a positive manner. "We are going to the store for a moment. Would you like me to get you a snack when we stop? Is there anything you need from the store?" </p><p></p><p>Bring little toys in the car that are just for the car and waiting rooms. I don't know if this will work for a 5 year old but you can try, "I need to stop at the store. Would you like to play with this while we go in?" Maybe getting her a small play purse so she can feel grown up going into a store, "We need to stop at the store. Do you have your purse? Can you carry some coins in your purse in case I need change?" Then ask her for change when you start to pay.</p><p> </p><p>When my easy child was young, she got to have a ride as we were leaving the store if she behaved. Not as many places have rides anymore though.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this makes sense. Think outside the box and give her a positive way to look at everything.</p><p> </p><p>When the shirt won't go on, blame the shirt. Instead of asking, "Are you having trouble with that?" or "Can I help?" put it on the shirt, "Oh my that shirt just will not be good today. Let's give it a short time out. How about one minute? You can read this book (or I will read you a quick story) while we wait for the shirt to calm down." Then try again. Make a game of it - talk to the shirt while she puts it on. "O.K. shirt, are you ready for the day? It will be a great day and you will be glad you came with." Walk her through getting the shirt on, have her stand in front of a mirror and tell the shirt about what she will be doing today.</p><p> </p><p>I know, I get a bit silly, but I do what it takes to stay positive. I suppose this is more for the younger crowd (2 - 3 yr olds). Those 5 year olds get too smart to think shirts misbehave. But I hope this gives you an idea of what I am thinking about. Whatever it takes to defuse the situation without making her feel she can't do it. 5 year olds are all about doing things on their own even if it doesn't work out. Add ODD and wow, you have your hands full!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 180535, member: 5096"] :) ".... me being a bit controlling ....." :) I often find myself saying, "I don't have time to deal with this!" I think I tend to be a bit controlling at times also. Seems like our kids have all the time in the world to hold their own and we have no time to follow through. We have to be able to stop everything and let them know that no matter how long it takes, we want them to be able to follow directions. I don't think super strict is the answer but neither is ignoring and hoping it will go away on its own. Some creative discipline in between just for her will work - problem is we just don't know yet what that is. Continue to be consistent and calm. Try to be one step ahead of her and find creative ways to keep her positive. She may get overwhelmed easily so lots of transitional warnings. Approach everything in a positive manner. "We are going to the store for a moment. Would you like me to get you a snack when we stop? Is there anything you need from the store?" Bring little toys in the car that are just for the car and waiting rooms. I don't know if this will work for a 5 year old but you can try, "I need to stop at the store. Would you like to play with this while we go in?" Maybe getting her a small play purse so she can feel grown up going into a store, "We need to stop at the store. Do you have your purse? Can you carry some coins in your purse in case I need change?" Then ask her for change when you start to pay. When my easy child was young, she got to have a ride as we were leaving the store if she behaved. Not as many places have rides anymore though. I hope this makes sense. Think outside the box and give her a positive way to look at everything. When the shirt won't go on, blame the shirt. Instead of asking, "Are you having trouble with that?" or "Can I help?" put it on the shirt, "Oh my that shirt just will not be good today. Let's give it a short time out. How about one minute? You can read this book (or I will read you a quick story) while we wait for the shirt to calm down." Then try again. Make a game of it - talk to the shirt while she puts it on. "O.K. shirt, are you ready for the day? It will be a great day and you will be glad you came with." Walk her through getting the shirt on, have her stand in front of a mirror and tell the shirt about what she will be doing today. I know, I get a bit silly, but I do what it takes to stay positive. I suppose this is more for the younger crowd (2 - 3 yr olds). Those 5 year olds get too smart to think shirts misbehave. But I hope this gives you an idea of what I am thinking about. Whatever it takes to defuse the situation without making her feel she can't do it. 5 year olds are all about doing things on their own even if it doesn't work out. Add ODD and wow, you have your hands full! [/QUOTE]
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