Introduction of the topic of....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jun 25, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    acceptance. That's what is on the agenda for the tweedles in the coming weeks.

    Acceptance for wm, that he will not be living in our home again. Acceptance for kt, that her brother is not coming home.

    We've been pushing the "family of different addresses" for 18 months now while tiptoeing around wm & kt that they cannot live together with-o totally deteriorating & becoming harmful to/for one another.

    While the concept of this sounds real good....acceptance is another idea.

    wm still believes he can come home; especially if "kt screws up & ends up in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)". kt, on the other hand, is alternating between wanting wm here & terrified that wm will come home.

    A team meeting is happening early in July to address this issue. Attachment tdocs & Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) tdocs are willing to take the hit; they are willing to tell the tweedles that it isn't "healthy or safe" for kt & wm to live together. (It's been the general consensus of the pros for the past 3 years anyway.)

    On one hand nothing changes other than the tweedles will know the long term plan; on the other, everything changes in the treatment direction & quite likely the tweedles emotional well being.

    And while I've known in my head this is the plan, in my heart it's devastating.
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I imagine it is devastating to know the tweedles can never live in the same home. Equally devastating is knowing that they have to hear this and accept it. UGH!

    HUGS for your hurting mommy heart.
     
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh Linda,

    This must be terribly hard. I am just starting to deal with the fact that my B will never come home. Not to live, though we see quite a bit of him.

    kt will have a hard time. It is always so tough to face the long term plans. Glad the tdocs are willing to be the ones to tell them, but you may also have to tell them so that they believe it is real.

    I hope wm will not spiral down over the news. It can't be a real surprise, but it also won't be easy.

    So tough on all of you, but seems like the right plan.

    Hugs for your mommy heart and the rest of you too!

    Susie
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I do not know the extent of your situation. I also know that I was not given your situation to handle for a reason.

    That does not mean that your mommy heart is not breaking. All I can do is offer hugs and prayers for you and the Tweedles.

    I cannot imagine what this must be like for you.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    On one hand nothing changes other than the tweedles will know the long term plan; on the other, everything changes in the treatment direction & quite likely the tweedles emotional well being.

    And while I've known in my head this is the plan, in my heart it's devastating.


    Yes. So true. {{Cyberhugs}}
     
  6. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    <<<HUGS>>>

    It is so hard as a Mom to have to go through these endless "roller coaster" emotions.

    We have been discussing allowing difficult child I to work and live at my Parent's house over the summer, because difficult child I just think difficult child II is a freak that needs A good :censored2: kicking, and he's all to eager to do it.
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Many gentle hugs. :angel:
     
  8. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Linda,

    Adding my very gentle hugs here. I cannot imagine having to make the decisions you've had to make - let alone making it concrete by telling kt and wm.

    If you need it, you know we'll be here to prop you up. :angel:
     
  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Today is another day. I'm hurting; my heart aches for tweedles dee & dum - again I knew this was the plan. And we move on - have to keep my mind going forward. I may flinch but I never avoid what is deemed necessary for kt & wm.

    Looks as though it will be a rougher summer than I planned.

    As ever, thanks for the cyber shoulder.
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

  11. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh Linda. I'm so sorry. I'm sure your mommy heart is hurting. It's one thing to know the plan in your head, but to have to verbalize it and make it final is something completely different.

    :::hugs:::
     
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