Introduction

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bailey_PA, Nov 13, 2008.

  1. Bailey_PA

    Bailey_PA New Member

    Hello. I'm new here. I'm married and we have two boys, a 3 year old and a 5 year old. We are having issues with the 5 year old. In the last few months, he has been thrown out of 3 daycares/preschools. We started seeing a psychologist, who has diagnosed my son with ODD. We're not sure if he has any other issues as well. We submitted paperwork to our county's intermediate unit in September and he's finally going to be evaluated next week. I'm worried that I'm going to hear that he does not have enough of a deficiency to qualify for services. If that happens, I don't know what we're going to do.

    Here's a little history: My son has always been high energy, but was always very loving and sweet. About a year ago, there was a bully in his class who hurt everyone, but the a-type personality kids (including my son) were his main targets. We complained many times, but all it did was make my son a target of the school administration as well. The teachers basically "threw him to the wolves." He then started acting out at school. I'm angry that I did not pull him out sooner, but I really thought the school would do the right thing. (Stupid me.) Anyway, now he's very untrusting and very disrespectful of authority figures. He's great 95% of the time, but when he looses it, he really looses it. He kicks, hits, spits, pees, you name it.

    I love him so much and it hurts me so much to see him hurting and not be able to fix it. I have a couple people in real life I can talk to about this, but they have not been there, done that, so although they mean well, they can't really help. I'm hoping to be able to "talk" with people here who are experiencing the same things. Thanks for letting me in.

    (By the way, what does "difficult child" mean?)
     
  2. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Welcome!! My son has started his behaviors at a very early age but I understand the hurt and frustration of having daycare after daycare call and ask you to come get them because they dont know what to do. I was so hurt and angry at first because I was in "denial" abt. my child and thought he was going through the normal "toddler" stuff. Now that I made peace with the fact that he does have some issue we just need a diagnosis, I feel much better knowing I am moving a step forward! Cole's pedi also gave him a diagnosis of possible ODD but we are waiting until next month for his evaluation by a child psychiatric. It is definitly a scary thing not knowing how to "fix" it, but you will find a lot of good information on this site! Definitly read "The Explosive Child" and have your husband read it also. It's a good book and so far is really helping us with Cole's dicipline! BIG HUGS!!!!
     
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hi and welcome. Glad you found us, tho sorry you had to.

    Its good that you're on top of your sons issues and having him evaluated. Who will be doing the evaluation?

    My son is going thru something similar right now with school, tho he's always been a challenging child. There are many here who really understand.

    Sending many hugs! And welcome!
     
  4. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    Hello and welcome Baily_PA

    All I know is that the people here understand and there are not many others out there who do. I am lucky as I also have quite a few friends I have made over the years who have kids with issues and specials needs. It is marvellous to have the support of people who understand/

    I think if you can offload your worries and concerns and throw them out there for discussion that things begin to be more bearable.
     
  5. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    I forgot to say that difficult child means Gift from God and easy child means perfect child
    In FAQ you can find the abbreviations.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I have a few questions that will help us help you. You may want to do a signature, like I did below.

    1/Are there any psychiatric problems or substance abuse issues on either side of the family tree?

    2/How was her early development, including speech, eye contact with strangers, peer interaction, imaginative play, cuddling, and fine/gross motor?

    Have you ever heard of a neuropsychologist? They tend to give really good, 6-10 hour evaluations and often catch stuff that others miss. ODD rarely stands alone.

    Welcome to the board :)
     
  7. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    difficult child..gift from god.
    Hey, my kid was a biter. It is hard not to think of him as young master fang. Read alot about child developement and raising a five that sort of thing. As new parents we need language and tactics and imaginative ideas to spark those learning moments
    in the play of the pre-K K 1-2-3 grade boys. Tough at the end of the work day. Do YOU nap? How are you keeping up the pace of all that demand on your attention?
    Do you run everyday? Can you run your boys around with you? It changes the brain chemistry and directs their focus and sheds the gunk for all ages and establishes a life long habit that serves them..and you .
    Those children are so lucky to have you.
     
  8. Bailey_PA

    Bailey_PA New Member

    Thanks to everyone. Just knowing I'm not alone makes this a little easier. I'll try to answer some questions.

    1/Are there any psychiatric problems or substance abuse issues on either side of the family tree? My h's dad had some issues, but I'm not exactly sure what they were.

    2/How was her early development, including speech, eye contact with strangers, peer interaction, imaginative play, cuddling, and fine/gross motor? His early development was fine. He actually spoke very well very quickly. He's always played well with others and is very affectionate. His teachers have always said he's really smart and besides his behavioral issue, he's always done well. Surprisingly, though, his most recent teacher did bring up a question about his fine motor skills. She said he didn't seem to write as well as others his age and was a bit behind in letter/sound recognition. I don't know if that's because he hasn't been in school or if it's evidence of a larger problem. Hopefully, we'll get some additional answers after his evaluation on Wednesday.

    Have you ever heard of a neuropsychologist? They tend to give really good, 6-10 hour evaluations and often catch stuff that others miss. ODD rarely stands alone. I have not brought my son to a neuropsychologist yet, but I did bring him to a neurologist. He said that my son's problems were behavioral and not neurological. He has not had an extensive evaluation yet. We don't have an Access card yet, and the places that do them will only do them if you have an Access card. Even though we told them we have our own insurance and/or are willing to pay ourselves, no one will take him. It's unbelievable how few resources there are for children who need additional help.
     
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