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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 310221" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. Sometimes I feel like (one of the) resident expert(s) on Asperger's & autism.</p><p></p><p>A point I will briefly make - always be prepared to question a diagnosis. It may be wrong, it may be right. It may be incomplete.</p><p></p><p>Example - your son with the Aspie diagnosis may simple have Asperger's. Or it may be a mis-diagnosis and really be schizophrenia. His father - may have schizophrenia, or may really have Asperger's but misdiagnosed. It can be that tricky.</p><p></p><p>An Aussie author/speaker on the topic of autism and Asperger's is Wendy Lawson. At about 19 she was incarcerated in a locked psychiatric ward with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Her psychiatriast had asked her, "Do you hear voices?" and she had replied, "Of course I do! Doesn't everyone?"</p><p></p><p>It turns out that she was being a typical literal-minded Aspie - of course you HEAR voices. You don't SEE them! Every time someone you're talking to opens their mouth, you hear their voice. Unless there is too much background noise, of course.</p><p></p><p>It is a complex condition and we often don't fully understand just what it is like, to grow up with Asperger's. Growing up is difficult enough. But when you don't understand the world around you because the rules keep changing and nobody tells you, it is frustrating, annoying, plus they often lack impulse control and they get VERY angry. Depression is also a big problem especially as they move into their teens.</p><p></p><p>A problem we have with friends and family, is their interference with difficult child 3 (and difficult child 1) and public expectations of, "He should know better, at his age."</p><p>But it just doesn't work like that.</p><p>Example - we went on an all-day steam train trip to Southern Highlands on Sunday. We've had very warm early spring weather here in Sydney but Sunday was the third day of cooler weather. Southern Highlands is also a colder place. husband said to difficult child 3, "Make sure you dress warmly."</p><p>BUT - he didn't warn difficult child 3 specifically. difficult child 3 thought it simply meant, "Pull on a sweater," and left it at that. If husband had been more specific, he would have said to difficult child 3, "The forecast for Southern Highlands is for wintry cold weather, 11C max, with rain and high winds. Dress for the conditions."</p><p>But difficult child 3 is 15 years old. His aunt was totally unsympathetic about difficult child 3 not being warm enough - he should have paid heed to his father. I responded with, "We both should have been more specific in our instructions."</p><p>I was unable to explain to aunt - you don't apply the calendar to kids like difficult child 3. His understanding of local geography is scanty. He did what he was told (put his sweater on). He really couldn't do more.</p><p></p><p>Follow-up - we went out yesterday to go out to lunch. We said to difficult child 3, "It's sunny now but a big storm and gale-force winds are forecast. Make sure you will be warm enough."</p><p>He put on his shirt and pulled on a sweater. Then fetched his snow parka! No way was HE going to be cold THIS time!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 310221, member: 1991"] Welcome. Sometimes I feel like (one of the) resident expert(s) on Asperger's & autism. A point I will briefly make - always be prepared to question a diagnosis. It may be wrong, it may be right. It may be incomplete. Example - your son with the Aspie diagnosis may simple have Asperger's. Or it may be a mis-diagnosis and really be schizophrenia. His father - may have schizophrenia, or may really have Asperger's but misdiagnosed. It can be that tricky. An Aussie author/speaker on the topic of autism and Asperger's is Wendy Lawson. At about 19 she was incarcerated in a locked psychiatric ward with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Her psychiatriast had asked her, "Do you hear voices?" and she had replied, "Of course I do! Doesn't everyone?" It turns out that she was being a typical literal-minded Aspie - of course you HEAR voices. You don't SEE them! Every time someone you're talking to opens their mouth, you hear their voice. Unless there is too much background noise, of course. It is a complex condition and we often don't fully understand just what it is like, to grow up with Asperger's. Growing up is difficult enough. But when you don't understand the world around you because the rules keep changing and nobody tells you, it is frustrating, annoying, plus they often lack impulse control and they get VERY angry. Depression is also a big problem especially as they move into their teens. A problem we have with friends and family, is their interference with difficult child 3 (and difficult child 1) and public expectations of, "He should know better, at his age." But it just doesn't work like that. Example - we went on an all-day steam train trip to Southern Highlands on Sunday. We've had very warm early spring weather here in Sydney but Sunday was the third day of cooler weather. Southern Highlands is also a colder place. husband said to difficult child 3, "Make sure you dress warmly." BUT - he didn't warn difficult child 3 specifically. difficult child 3 thought it simply meant, "Pull on a sweater," and left it at that. If husband had been more specific, he would have said to difficult child 3, "The forecast for Southern Highlands is for wintry cold weather, 11C max, with rain and high winds. Dress for the conditions." But difficult child 3 is 15 years old. His aunt was totally unsympathetic about difficult child 3 not being warm enough - he should have paid heed to his father. I responded with, "We both should have been more specific in our instructions." I was unable to explain to aunt - you don't apply the calendar to kids like difficult child 3. His understanding of local geography is scanty. He did what he was told (put his sweater on). He really couldn't do more. Follow-up - we went out yesterday to go out to lunch. We said to difficult child 3, "It's sunny now but a big storm and gale-force winds are forecast. Make sure you will be warm enough." He put on his shirt and pulled on a sweater. Then fetched his snow parka! No way was HE going to be cold THIS time! Marg [/QUOTE]
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