Is ANYONE else's kid DRIVEN by food?????

[change]

Hi All,

I have been having a pretty fabulous summer DESPITE my difficult child. Long stories short, she had gained a total of 30 pound after 2 recent psyce hospitalizations where they just let her eat herself into the ground despite me warning them that she would do this. I've had her on an almost vegan diet and she's gotten 18 pounds off safely in about 6 wks but I can't trust her for even one minue alone. In that same time period, she has binged several times (on candy), run away twice (the police brought her back once in the middle of the night when we didn't even know she was gone), and she is getting craftier and craftier about escape plans, stealing of food, etc. She has been like this since we adopted her and there is no filling up her empty hole where food is concerned. If we just let her eat non-stop and stop fighting her, she would pester people for their food and and beg others and act like a homeless person. (This is what she does at school.) I pack her decent sized lunches (much bigger than what the average person would eat and she even chooses what to put in them, yet she throws them away or lets them rot in her backpack and does the antisocial behavior instead. I am about to pull her out of school and state that I am homeschooling her instead because I am tired of the bad behavior reports from school. She is disruptive, etc. I don't know what else to do. Technically, I work and can't stay home to homeschool her and it will be hard to force her to do it on her own, but she's not doing much at school anyway and failed her state tests last year. I am a teacher and know what it's like to have someone like her in the classroom. It's not fair to the teacher (who's not equipped to handle her) and definitely not fair to the other children that she victimizes. What are your opinions? Please help me.

 

[dashcat]

I stopped fighting the food battle a lont time ago. My daughter is 19 and she was adopted at the age of eight months. She's always had issues with food and she, too, will collect food from others. She used to hide it in her nightstand until I really lowered the boom about having food in her room. My issue with that is bugs and critters - not eating. I know it's hard to watch them overeat, but I found in my case, restriction was not the answer. Your daughter will probaly not stop overeating until she wants to stop on her own.

Best of luck to you,
Dash.

 

[BeachPeace]

{{{{Hugs}}}}
My son Blue was adopted at age 5, also has PTSD among other things. Food is such an issue for us - I feel your pain. We currently don't have locks on the fridge or pantry, but have in the past for safety (hording foods that spoil, eating raw hamburger, eating until he would vomit) Things are some better now, but his appetite is HUGE and seems to be really affected by his mood ie: when he gets in trouble he starts crying "hungry"
It does not help that the medications he is on increase his appetite!!! Sigh..... I don't have any answers just wanted to give you some empathy and support. Good Luck!

 

[change]

My issue is not so much the overeating anymore as it is the overeating AT ALL COSTS. I mean, really, realistally, I can't stop anyone from being overweight, etc. However, she has always stolen food from others, no matter the consequences (loss of friends, possible juvenile arrests, loss of trust, etc.) She has stolen money for food, etc. This is my issue. I agree with you...the hoarding is bad too. Of course, there is no hoarding as she eats it all...but there are crumbs rotten lunches (as I stated) and she keeps wrappers, etc. for some odd reason. She has also wandered out of the house barefoot, half-dressed to neighborhood stores and we've had to catch her before she steals from them.

 

[susiestar]

Has she ever been evaluated for Prader Willi? It is a disorder where hunger is never satiated. Chances are it would have been diagnosis'd by now but it would be worth asking her doctors about it.

I would NOT NOT NOT recommend homeschooling her. She will likely not be cooperative (to put it very mildly) and it will likwly encourage her to run away more often and for longer times. No teacher or parent knows how to handle a student like this. If she continues to have problems at school maybe she should have a full time aid. You will likely have to push to get one, but it may be what she needs.

There are other accommodations that she can have at school to help her learn. Homeschooling her is going to put a huge burden on your shoulders and you will have precious few resources and sources of help outside your home unless you can afford to pay expensive fees for tutors, etc... The school MUST provide accommodations if her actions are a result of her disability. The Sp Ed forum on this site can help you with this.

I am NOT anti-homeschooling or anti regular schooling. My older two have each been in regular classes some years and have been homeschooled some years. So far my youngest has not had a need to be homeschooled and loves school but if it changes we will work with it. I just think your daughter is not a good candidate for homeschooling. She also may need the structure that school provides and that it is very hard to provide while homeschooling. Given the financial times it may be quite unwise for you to quit your job and that is something that you need to consider also.

Has she been evaluated recently? There may be learning disabilities, etc... that you don't know about if she has not had a complete evaluation in the last 3-4 years. As our kids grow new and different symptoms can emerge which can indicate new problems and new ways to help.

She may need to attend an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to help with the problems. I don't know enough to say if it is needed, but many difficult children are helped with rtcs or even emotional growth boarding schools (egbs).