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Is Autism Reversible? Einstein Scientists Propose New Theory of Autism
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 262442" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Trinity</p><p> </p><p>I stopped "doing" for Travis at around age 17, about the same time I stopped for my girls. My family thought I was off my nut and so did the school and docs. But I didn't want Travis to be a 60 something version of his father, only more severe. husband goes to work because I force it, he pays the bills because I force it........I "parent" him more than I do Travis because he will not function if I don't. He can do it for short periods without me pushing him, but I need it to be consistant for our family to function.</p><p> </p><p>Travis pays his own bills. He gets up for work on his own. He rarely misses a day, although he hates it. He pays rent to me, and helps pay for food. But like his Dad.......when he was having trouble at work, I had to keep telling him to go to the union. When it was his glasses and he'd complain it was taking so long...I had to tell him to push the store manager harder. I do make him make his own doctor appointments and the like although he really hates to do it. He positively loaths talking on the phone.</p><p> </p><p>And the only way I can think to handle this stuff is by forcing him to do it himself. But I don't think it's going to "take" anymore than it did with his Dad.</p><p> </p><p>Right now he's doing the college thing again. He's applied, sent his transcript, and is getting a copy of his IEP, and will be doing his FASFA. Why? Because Mom refused to do it for him. I didn't do it for my girls, and I won't for him. If he wants it bad enough, he'll ask the right questions and manage to do it himself. (this is like his 3rd year of trying) This year he's come further than ever. He just might make it there in the fall. How he will survive once he gets there........well, we'll crosse that bridge when he gets there. At least it is a college where disabled students are treated like royalty, so the environment will be conductive if he manages to get thru the whole process.</p><p> </p><p>I feel like I'm being cruel doing it this way. But it is the only way he makes progress in something he wants to do. We set the bar as high as we would for his sisters and expect him to reach it. If he doesn't, at least he tried. </p><p> </p><p>He may never make it to college. But he is learning alot of valuable lessons just trying to get in. Lessons that I hope will stick.</p><p> </p><p>So what you said about having to do for yourself taught you valuable lessons you might not have learned otherwise made alot of sense to me. Travis had 2 yrs of focused socialization classes at the tech school he attended. No effect whatsoever. None. BUT he can walk into Krogers and make a good impression on fellow employees and customers and gain their loyalty because he was forced to learn on his own how to do it. (for him it's like putting on a hat and taking on a role)</p><p> </p><p>So I'm left wondering just how much all the Occupational Therapist (OT) for social is actually helping kids on the spectrum. I wonder if it is something that can actually be learned in a classroom setting. Because I can recall when he first started working at Walmart and he'd come home and ask me why something he said or did made someone mad at him or react in such a way, and I'd have to sit him down and explain it. We did this over and over again for months. I never did it unless he asked. And he still does it occasionally.</p><p> </p><p>But while Travis can do things like pay bills, go to work, ect........He still has the "out of sight, out of mind" thing really bad, his maturity level is still way behind, and he still stinks at reading social cues regardless of all the practice.</p><p> </p><p>Sigh.</p><p> </p><p>Fran, you're right. It's hard to get it right out there and talk about it. I didn't envision in my mind Travis still being this severe at this age, and it's like a lump stuck in my throat. While I do have to give him credit for trying, especially when so many seem to lack the desire, he's like a derailed train spinning his wheels off track. It makes my heart ache for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 262442, member: 84"] Trinity I stopped "doing" for Travis at around age 17, about the same time I stopped for my girls. My family thought I was off my nut and so did the school and docs. But I didn't want Travis to be a 60 something version of his father, only more severe. husband goes to work because I force it, he pays the bills because I force it........I "parent" him more than I do Travis because he will not function if I don't. He can do it for short periods without me pushing him, but I need it to be consistant for our family to function. Travis pays his own bills. He gets up for work on his own. He rarely misses a day, although he hates it. He pays rent to me, and helps pay for food. But like his Dad.......when he was having trouble at work, I had to keep telling him to go to the union. When it was his glasses and he'd complain it was taking so long...I had to tell him to push the store manager harder. I do make him make his own doctor appointments and the like although he really hates to do it. He positively loaths talking on the phone. And the only way I can think to handle this stuff is by forcing him to do it himself. But I don't think it's going to "take" anymore than it did with his Dad. Right now he's doing the college thing again. He's applied, sent his transcript, and is getting a copy of his IEP, and will be doing his FASFA. Why? Because Mom refused to do it for him. I didn't do it for my girls, and I won't for him. If he wants it bad enough, he'll ask the right questions and manage to do it himself. (this is like his 3rd year of trying) This year he's come further than ever. He just might make it there in the fall. How he will survive once he gets there........well, we'll crosse that bridge when he gets there. At least it is a college where disabled students are treated like royalty, so the environment will be conductive if he manages to get thru the whole process. I feel like I'm being cruel doing it this way. But it is the only way he makes progress in something he wants to do. We set the bar as high as we would for his sisters and expect him to reach it. If he doesn't, at least he tried. He may never make it to college. But he is learning alot of valuable lessons just trying to get in. Lessons that I hope will stick. So what you said about having to do for yourself taught you valuable lessons you might not have learned otherwise made alot of sense to me. Travis had 2 yrs of focused socialization classes at the tech school he attended. No effect whatsoever. None. BUT he can walk into Krogers and make a good impression on fellow employees and customers and gain their loyalty because he was forced to learn on his own how to do it. (for him it's like putting on a hat and taking on a role) So I'm left wondering just how much all the Occupational Therapist (OT) for social is actually helping kids on the spectrum. I wonder if it is something that can actually be learned in a classroom setting. Because I can recall when he first started working at Walmart and he'd come home and ask me why something he said or did made someone mad at him or react in such a way, and I'd have to sit him down and explain it. We did this over and over again for months. I never did it unless he asked. And he still does it occasionally. But while Travis can do things like pay bills, go to work, ect........He still has the "out of sight, out of mind" thing really bad, his maturity level is still way behind, and he still stinks at reading social cues regardless of all the practice. Sigh. Fran, you're right. It's hard to get it right out there and talk about it. I didn't envision in my mind Travis still being this severe at this age, and it's like a lump stuck in my throat. While I do have to give him credit for trying, especially when so many seem to lack the desire, he's like a derailed train spinning his wheels off track. It makes my heart ache for him. [/QUOTE]
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