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Is he just stupid, or what?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 145792"><p>I really liked what Abbey had to say...but I think entitlement is not all things for all people. And yep, the more I think about it, entitlement issues are getting worse and worse as time goes by.</p><p> </p><p>Our son was a easy child and then had a wild year of depression and entitlement in highschool. A lot of therapy coupled with a lot of tough love changed his tune.</p><p>No cell phone, no extra spending money, etc.</p><p>He got a part time job and earned all the extras and did SIGNIFICANTLY better; including (knock on wood), being on the Dean's List.</p><p>However, I can't help but think of his girlfriend who does receive many extras from her parents AND is very respectful of her parents and also on the Dean's list.</p><p> </p><p>Our daughter was raised the same as our son, yet does not seem to learn lessons well. Even when privledges are removed, she doesn't seem to "get it." Day to day we weigh just how far we need to go to "hope" to teach her a lesson. </p><p> </p><p>With our son, withdrawing privleges had a clear cut benefit. With our daughter, not always. </p><p> </p><p>I guess I'm trying to say that some folks might be more prone to entitlement issues than others. And some difficult child's might have great difficulties picking up "cues" even ones involving great personal danger. Often times I still think it is worth the try, because the entitlement problem is a huge hurdle and if we can help to errode that...that would be a plus. But finding where to draw the line esp. in terms of "tough love" can be confusing...cause sometimes they shoot themselves in the foot in such rapid succession the stakes become very high and rehabiitating an incarcerated difficult child becomes very tough and a dead one becomes impossible.</p><p> </p><p>One more thing (just thinking out loud here), I do think overall...even the more difficult difficult children would do at least a little better, if society in general wasn't "into" this entitlement "thing." For example, I am THE ONLY person I know, who makes their college-aged child pay for their own cell phone. Rich and poor folks alike. However, making him work and pay for his cell phone was one of the best moves we ever made. It humbled that kid pronto. He learned early if he wants anything good in life, he will have to earn it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 145792"] I really liked what Abbey had to say...but I think entitlement is not all things for all people. And yep, the more I think about it, entitlement issues are getting worse and worse as time goes by. Our son was a easy child and then had a wild year of depression and entitlement in highschool. A lot of therapy coupled with a lot of tough love changed his tune. No cell phone, no extra spending money, etc. He got a part time job and earned all the extras and did SIGNIFICANTLY better; including (knock on wood), being on the Dean's List. However, I can't help but think of his girlfriend who does receive many extras from her parents AND is very respectful of her parents and also on the Dean's list. Our daughter was raised the same as our son, yet does not seem to learn lessons well. Even when privledges are removed, she doesn't seem to "get it." Day to day we weigh just how far we need to go to "hope" to teach her a lesson. With our son, withdrawing privleges had a clear cut benefit. With our daughter, not always. I guess I'm trying to say that some folks might be more prone to entitlement issues than others. And some difficult child's might have great difficulties picking up "cues" even ones involving great personal danger. Often times I still think it is worth the try, because the entitlement problem is a huge hurdle and if we can help to errode that...that would be a plus. But finding where to draw the line esp. in terms of "tough love" can be confusing...cause sometimes they shoot themselves in the foot in such rapid succession the stakes become very high and rehabiitating an incarcerated difficult child becomes very tough and a dead one becomes impossible. One more thing (just thinking out loud here), I do think overall...even the more difficult difficult children would do at least a little better, if society in general wasn't "into" this entitlement "thing." For example, I am THE ONLY person I know, who makes their college-aged child pay for their own cell phone. Rich and poor folks alike. However, making him work and pay for his cell phone was one of the best moves we ever made. It humbled that kid pronto. He learned early if he wants anything good in life, he will have to earn it. [/QUOTE]
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