Is it bad that I want to strangle him already?

[mstang67chic]

He's home. We picked difficult child up this morning after a 2 hour drive. Grabbed a bite to eat, hit the Social Security office, then to Walmart. His clothes from "before" are all in tubs and are all either ripped, torn, stained, stink to high heaven or all of the above. We had bought a pair of sweats, shirt, jacket, socks and boxers prior so we stopped and got a few more things plus hygiene items. Now...nearly 8 hours later, he is out with husband running an errand. I am sitting her enjoying the quiet. I'm glad to see him, I'm glad he's out but I'm already feeling the urge to strangle him. The old annoyances I had forgotten, the prison stories...omg the stories! He now knows about all sorts of crimes both general and specifically because guys in prison told him. His know it all belief is still going strong but now it's about crimes and drugs. Oh that reminds me. We got a call from the prison nurse offering her help if we needed it because difficult child is so young and drug addiction is so hard to overcome.

*blink*

Drugs? REALLY? I have no doubt that difficult child has experimented but to listen to him? He smoked pounds of pot and snorted half the town up his nose. Uh huh. Soooo.....that's why I NEVER smelled dope on you (and trust me, I was raised around it, I KNOW what it smells like) and all of the coke you did is why you SLEPT all of the time? And I don't mean stayed out for a couple of days and THEN slept. I mean literally slept all the time and didn't leave the house. He managed to tick me off even before he was released. Talented he is.

But, tomorrow morning he has an appointment with they guy at the shelter so he should be moving in there after. I can't wait.

 

[HaoZi]

Already?!

 

[mstang67chic]

Already what? Moving into the shelter or annoying me?

 

[HaoZi]

Already annoying you before release. Is that a new record?

 

[mstang67chic]

Probably.

 

[mstang67chic]

UPDATE: O M G. This boy is soooooooooooooo single minded when he has a "goal". His life plan is to go to college, get a record deal and also be a stand up comic. Not sure how they are related but whatever. Anywhoo......he has a debit card from the prison with his commissary money on it......$120 some dollars. Part of his comic plan involves advertising and video taping himself which of course means he'll need a camcorder. He told us all of this earlier and we advised him to wait a bit because he's going to need the money to tide him over until his SSI checks start coming again. Yeah.....that stuck. He went for a walk earlier and was gone forever. Came home with a back pack for college, a digital recorder, markers to make advertising posters and a few other things. He is alllll over the place with his plans but yet he feels soooooooooo much better since he stopped taking his medications last year.

 

[mstang67chic]

And good grief. HOW could I forget.....he has a lovely prison tat. All the way across his upper chest and it's not even finished.

 

[KTMom91]

Sending hugs and some extra strength to help get you through.

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

I had some hope that being in prison would have forced him to mature, but it sure doesn't seem like it. You and husband are going to have to figure out what you will and won't do with/for him, and stick to that. Hopefully the two of you will be on the same page and forcing difficult child to take care of his life and not rely on you and husband to rescue him will eventually mean that he gains some maturity.

Hopefully the people at the shelter are experienced in dealing with difficult children and will insist on some things that will help him. Until he is out of the house, you can suggest he go spend some time out of the house. He is going to make bad choices with money and he is going to call you because he is out of food, etc.... Now is the time to start figuring out how you want to handle that. While it may be hard for you and/or husband to do, letting him go hungry or suffer other consequences of choices to blow his funds the way he did today will probably be the only way he will ever be able to learn to not do that in the future. Star might be able to give you more ideas on that because it was hard but she didn't bail Dude out and he did start to make some better choices.

I am really sorry it is already so hard to have him in your daily life again. Have you got a plan if the shelter won't take him?

 

[DammitJanet]

I would definitely look at getting him a payee so he cant blow his money. Not you for heavens sake because he will hound you to the depths of hell. I know, Cory has worn me down so badly I simply give in. I waved the white flag. I dont give a rats behind on what he spends his on but then his rent is almost as much as he gets so whatever.

 

[Hound dog]

I hope the shelter comes through for him very quickly.

Wow, that was fast, the annoying you part.

As for prison stories for all the new skills he's learned to commit the perfect crimes.............. (why do they all do this anyway?? Bro did it and both nephews came out doing the same song and dance) You can give him my Mom's standard line.

"That's great. Now if they were such experts you might want to stop and think of why they were behind bars with YOU instead of in a vacation home in Florida."

((hugs))

 

[HaoZi]

An unfinished tat... did he plan on going back to get it done?

 

[AnnieO]

An unfinished tat... did he plan on going back to get it done?

Good thing I'd swallowed my coffee already.

Stang... I am PRAYING HARD that the shelter comes through, because I can only IMAGINE.

I was wondering the same thing Lisa was, if they were such perfect crimes why'd they get CAUGHT?!

Sheesh. Love you, girl...

 

[CrazyinVA]

Laughing and shaking head at the same time. HUGS.

 

[DDD]

Crossing fingers and sending survival hugs your way. DDD

 

[Star*]

LORD GIVE MY FRIEND STRENGTH - but not in her hands.

 

[AnnieO]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^What Star said.

 

[Tiredof33]

I remember when my son came home with the prison tatoo's on his fingers. WHY do they want to brag about being in jail?
Those things don't wear off!
(((it's hard!!!)))

 

[mstang67chic]

Oh yes....the shelter was a definate and he is there now. Their normal SOP is no contact for two weeks but the guy was nice and is going to let us have him back for a few hours tomorrow to see some people and attend an event. I am soooooooooooo looking forward to taking him BACK! (Muwahahahahahahahaha!) Actually it will be fun. Friends of ours have two kids who absolutely adore difficult child and have no idea he's out. They both play in Upwards bball tomorrow so we're going to surprise them at their house before their games. I'm only worried that I might start bleeding from my ears when the kids see him and scream! LOL I'm going to try to video it on my phone but those little boogers are quick so I may not have time! LOL

As for money, I am his payee and he pretty much knows what I'll put up with and what I won't. Before he was arrested, he had an apartment and was actually pretty good about what he spent. Of course, I hardly let him have any cash and I laid it out for him at the beginning what he had and what he had to pay.

I did notice today that by the end of my work day, my shoulders were a lot more tense than normal. Hopefully that will ease up now that he's in the shelter. We shall see.

 

[AnnieO]

YAY!!!!! For him being sheltered!!!