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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 687696" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Oh boy I have a lot of catching up to do.</p><p>Done.</p><p>I think done is a boundary and there are many facets of done. When we have tried everything under the sun to reach out to our children, and nothing works, or they use and abuse our deep love for them over and over again, it is past high time to step back and reconsider.</p><p>Because we matter.</p><p>Because we deserve peace in our lives.</p><p>Because life is so very short and we sacrificed much for our children to raise them the best we could.</p><p>I also don't see <em>done</em> as finite. The end of the story is not yet written.</p><p>Done with the disrespect, chaos and drama. Done with losing ourselves with grief and sorrow over what the kids are doing.</p><p>Done is a good thing. Done shows our Difficult Child's that we have enough self respect to refuse inappropriate disrespectful attitudes and behaviors.</p><p>I will always love my Difficult Child's. I don't <em>like them, </em>what</p><p>their choices are, and how they feed off of chaos and drama.</p><p>We don't really get to choose when and how we leave Gods green earth, but we do have some choice over how we want to spend the <em>rest of our lives, </em>as far as our Difficult Child's are concerned.</p><p>I must sound a bit calloused, but after what we have been through, it brings this <em>yearning</em> for peace.</p><p>It is okay to just be done.</p><p>Difficult Child's need to figure out that we are people too. I think they forget that. I see mine as just taking it for granted that because I am their mother that it doesn't matter how they treat me. Their actions and words speak volumes that they are counting on their interpretation of "unconditional love"'. That is "I can do whatever I want and you must forgive me because you are my mother."</p><p>Well, it matters very much to me how I am treated. </p><p>Do what you need to do for your own peace of mind, Walrus, I am right there with you.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 687696, member: 19522"] Oh boy I have a lot of catching up to do. Done. I think done is a boundary and there are many facets of done. When we have tried everything under the sun to reach out to our children, and nothing works, or they use and abuse our deep love for them over and over again, it is past high time to step back and reconsider. Because we matter. Because we deserve peace in our lives. Because life is so very short and we sacrificed much for our children to raise them the best we could. I also don't see [I]done[/I] as finite. The end of the story is not yet written. Done with the disrespect, chaos and drama. Done with losing ourselves with grief and sorrow over what the kids are doing. Done is a good thing. Done shows our Difficult Child's that we have enough self respect to refuse inappropriate disrespectful attitudes and behaviors. I will always love my Difficult Child's. I don't [I]like them, [/I]what their choices are, and how they feed off of chaos and drama. We don't really get to choose when and how we leave Gods green earth, but we do have some choice over how we want to spend the [I]rest of our lives, [/I]as far as our Difficult Child's are concerned. I must sound a bit calloused, but after what we have been through, it brings this [I]yearning[/I] for peace. It is okay to just be done. Difficult Child's need to figure out that we are people too. I think they forget that. I see mine as just taking it for granted that because I am their mother that it doesn't matter how they treat me. Their actions and words speak volumes that they are counting on their interpretation of "unconditional love"'. That is "I can do whatever I want and you must forgive me because you are my mother." Well, it matters very much to me how I am treated. Do what you need to do for your own peace of mind, Walrus, I am right there with you. (((Hugs))) Leaf [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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