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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 687721" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>This is a good point. With my son, I'm not always positive when he's been using/drinking when he says craaaaazy things. Sometimes he is uber drunk and then I can tell. But, other times, it's not always real evident to me, how messed up, if at all, that he is in that moment. I think he has such a high tolerance, that it can be well-hidden. So sometimes he's ranting at me and could be totally sober. That day end of March, day before he entered rehab and called me middle of day while I was shopping with children in Target.....was one of his <strong>worst</strong> rants in a long time. HE SOUNDED COMPLETELY SOBER. That time? I WAS pissed. </p><p></p><p>I'm also an empath and have a ton of compassion, possibly too much. I do tend to be used and taken advantage of, by ppl, because of that. With him, I am able to hear the cut-downs & names and just shrug it off. '<em>Meh. It's not true and I know this.'</em> The words are his wounds & addiction talking, not my son's true self. At least, I hope that's not who he is..he's been using for so long and for most of his teenage/young adult life, that I am not 100% sure of what kind of person he IS as an adult<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" />. </p><p></p><p>The thing that does piss me off is when he calls me in such rages, that I actually feel a helpless terror regarding <em>HIS safety, welfare</em> in that moment. It's like, if he's going to do that, be raging like that, don't involve ME in the drama. Don't pick up that phone and dial this mom. THAT is what can piss me off. I have a hard time not worrying about him. So, I resent him bringing me in to his drama....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 687721, member: 19966"] This is a good point. With my son, I'm not always positive when he's been using/drinking when he says craaaaazy things. Sometimes he is uber drunk and then I can tell. But, other times, it's not always real evident to me, how messed up, if at all, that he is in that moment. I think he has such a high tolerance, that it can be well-hidden. So sometimes he's ranting at me and could be totally sober. That day end of March, day before he entered rehab and called me middle of day while I was shopping with children in Target.....was one of his [B]worst[/B] rants in a long time. HE SOUNDED COMPLETELY SOBER. That time? I WAS pissed. I'm also an empath and have a ton of compassion, possibly too much. I do tend to be used and taken advantage of, by ppl, because of that. With him, I am able to hear the cut-downs & names and just shrug it off. '[I]Meh. It's not true and I know this.'[/I] The words are his wounds & addiction talking, not my son's true self. At least, I hope that's not who he is..he's been using for so long and for most of his teenage/young adult life, that I am not 100% sure of what kind of person he IS as an adulto_O. The thing that does piss me off is when he calls me in such rages, that I actually feel a helpless terror regarding [I]HIS safety, welfare[/I] in that moment. It's like, if he's going to do that, be raging like that, don't involve ME in the drama. Don't pick up that phone and dial this mom. THAT is what can piss me off. I have a hard time not worrying about him. So, I resent him bringing me in to his drama.... [/QUOTE]
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