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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687733" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Let me explain this better.</p><p></p><p>I stopped tolerating the behavior by telling him I would not, stopping any interaction where he brought it up, and not contacting him at all.</p><p></p><p>He saw the consequences. No contact. He then made the decision to not talk about the subject with me. </p><p></p><p>At first the balance of power shifted from him to me. Then in order to have contact with me, he shifted the power struggle to inside of himself. He saw that he was choosing to not think of/speak about a topic in order to have contact with me.</p><p></p><p>Power within himself, over himself came to be substituted for power over me.</p><p></p><p>I believe that once he saw himself choosing to control himself in this way, curbing a behavior I felt was noxious, it somehow changed the dynamic between us and changed the dynamic in him.</p><p></p><p>The pay off for him was self-esteem. For some reason he decided to continue this. Sometimes. There has been more and more honest communication. And more and more changing by him.</p><p></p><p>This is the only way I can understand it. I do not know another way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687733, member: 18958"] Let me explain this better. I stopped tolerating the behavior by telling him I would not, stopping any interaction where he brought it up, and not contacting him at all. He saw the consequences. No contact. He then made the decision to not talk about the subject with me. At first the balance of power shifted from him to me. Then in order to have contact with me, he shifted the power struggle to inside of himself. He saw that he was choosing to not think of/speak about a topic in order to have contact with me. Power within himself, over himself came to be substituted for power over me. I believe that once he saw himself choosing to control himself in this way, curbing a behavior I felt was noxious, it somehow changed the dynamic between us and changed the dynamic in him. The pay off for him was self-esteem. For some reason he decided to continue this. Sometimes. There has been more and more honest communication. And more and more changing by him. This is the only way I can understand it. I do not know another way. [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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