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Is it genetics, or is sociopathy somehow connected to drug use
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 640928" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>We were very sure difficult child son was not using drugs. As noted in my signature, we were positive we had done some serious messing up as parents, because something seemed to have gone very wrong with both our children. As the years passed, and we knew difficult child son was using something, we were very sure he was not using anything stronger than marijuana. And that, only recreationally.</p><p></p><p>We found out, years later, that he started using cocaine at 16. </p><p></p><p>He got a job at this great supper club in our town, where he could have moved up the ranks from busboy to waiter to bartender, and where he would have had work right through college. It was...he had to be someone already, to get that job, right?</p><p></p><p>And that is where he began using cocaine.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Our son didn't, either. In fact, I don't think he worked anywhere, at all. Could it be that he was selling drugs. (No question mark, though one was originally intended. Denial, one of my favorite things.)</p><p></p><p>He always seemed to have plenty of money.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is very important.</p><p></p><p>difficult child son will actually roar on about how we never give him quite enough to make it. How we only give him just enough to be sure we look good, but never enough for him to actually recover his life.</p><p></p><p>Like, one time, after thousands of dollars, after driving to a city three hours away twice a week to bring food and manage his affairs, we heard, years later, how the reason he had not been able to make it then was because, though we had paid fines and to have license reinstated, we had not given difficult child the money to take the bus to wherever he had to go to sign papers or something.</p><p></p><p>He is still really mad about that.</p><p></p><p>It has been a lot of money, and so much, so very much, irreplaceable time, devoted to trying to change the course for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what the answer could be. We literally could not turn away, in that time.</p><p></p><p>The kids were the focus of our lives.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>OK then, I must not be a sociopath.</p><p></p><p>I am automatically guilty of everything.</p><p></p><p>What is the opposite of sociopath?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That sounds like difficult child son.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>husband and I shiver in our Depends at the thought of either one of our children taking us in ~ or, having any access at all to our finances.</p><p></p><p>husband is especially adamant about what I need to do if he goes first and I am the one left.</p><p></p><p>And he is right.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There was drug use when difficult child daughter was beat over those three days, and when she was left for dead. I think they no longer know what is real. That is what I mean when I posted that the male who did what he did...I mean, can you imagine coming back to reality and being unable to change what happened?</p><p></p><p>Nightmarish.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter is extraordinarily nice until things go wrong. She has friendships that have lasted since high school ~ some of her friends are on my Facebook, today.</p><p></p><p>difficult child son was a nice, nice boy. I mean, I know I'm his mom ~ but he was so strong and funny and like...his heart was right there. He is still very kind to animals. (Says every mother, ever. He cannot be all bad. He is still kind to animals. Oh, for Heaven's sake.)</p><p></p><p>He is like an animal himself, now.</p><p></p><p>That is a hard thing to admit, even here, even to all of you. </p><p></p><p>I am happy to be seeing this. I always think the problem is me. That I must say things that enrage him, or that I just don't know how to interact with people.</p><p></p><p>husband is right, of course. I do need to toughen up.</p><p></p><p>And whichever of us posted that it doesn't matter whether it is a shame thing or a drug thing was absolutely right. We do need to protect ourselves ~ both our hearts and our money and even, our time. Those things that should be pleasures ~ anticipating our children's calls and visits, imagining the holidays together, watching our well-parented grandchildren grow ~ these things are all beautiful traps, for us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 640928, member: 17461"] We were very sure difficult child son was not using drugs. As noted in my signature, we were positive we had done some serious messing up as parents, because something seemed to have gone very wrong with both our children. As the years passed, and we knew difficult child son was using something, we were very sure he was not using anything stronger than marijuana. And that, only recreationally. We found out, years later, that he started using cocaine at 16. He got a job at this great supper club in our town, where he could have moved up the ranks from busboy to waiter to bartender, and where he would have had work right through college. It was...he had to be someone already, to get that job, right? And that is where he began using cocaine. Our son didn't, either. In fact, I don't think he worked anywhere, at all. Could it be that he was selling drugs. (No question mark, though one was originally intended. Denial, one of my favorite things.) He always seemed to have plenty of money. I agree. This is very important. difficult child son will actually roar on about how we never give him quite enough to make it. How we only give him just enough to be sure we look good, but never enough for him to actually recover his life. Like, one time, after thousands of dollars, after driving to a city three hours away twice a week to bring food and manage his affairs, we heard, years later, how the reason he had not been able to make it then was because, though we had paid fines and to have license reinstated, we had not given difficult child the money to take the bus to wherever he had to go to sign papers or something. He is still really mad about that. It has been a lot of money, and so much, so very much, irreplaceable time, devoted to trying to change the course for difficult child. I don't know what the answer could be. We literally could not turn away, in that time. The kids were the focus of our lives. OK then, I must not be a sociopath. I am automatically guilty of everything. What is the opposite of sociopath? That sounds like difficult child son. husband and I shiver in our Depends at the thought of either one of our children taking us in ~ or, having any access at all to our finances. husband is especially adamant about what I need to do if he goes first and I am the one left. And he is right. There was drug use when difficult child daughter was beat over those three days, and when she was left for dead. I think they no longer know what is real. That is what I mean when I posted that the male who did what he did...I mean, can you imagine coming back to reality and being unable to change what happened? Nightmarish. difficult child daughter is extraordinarily nice until things go wrong. She has friendships that have lasted since high school ~ some of her friends are on my Facebook, today. difficult child son was a nice, nice boy. I mean, I know I'm his mom ~ but he was so strong and funny and like...his heart was right there. He is still very kind to animals. (Says every mother, ever. He cannot be all bad. He is still kind to animals. Oh, for Heaven's sake.) He is like an animal himself, now. That is a hard thing to admit, even here, even to all of you. I am happy to be seeing this. I always think the problem is me. That I must say things that enrage him, or that I just don't know how to interact with people. husband is right, of course. I do need to toughen up. And whichever of us posted that it doesn't matter whether it is a shame thing or a drug thing was absolutely right. We do need to protect ourselves ~ both our hearts and our money and even, our time. Those things that should be pleasures ~ anticipating our children's calls and visits, imagining the holidays together, watching our well-parented grandchildren grow ~ these things are all beautiful traps, for us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Is it genetics, or is sociopathy somehow connected to drug use
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