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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 191976" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>kjs, </p><p> </p><p>I found myself reading your post and thinking back to my first marriage. It was awful. So when I decided to finally start dating again and met DF, I was just amazed at his abilities to "fix" things (NOW) and go to dinner and take time off to come see ME, talk, help me around the house, with difficult child. It was amazing and short lived. </p><p> </p><p>DF had a work related injury and had back surgery. We moved into the house we live in now shortly after. About a year later the landlords were loosing the house even though we paid on time, and foreclosure was at hand. DF had drug so much junk and "Projects" home that he literally went into tears when I mentioned moving. (It was the drugs). </p><p> </p><p>Nine years later - nothing is still done, the house is falling apart, and I'm capable of doing the repairs but he gets very upset with feelings of being worthless. So I've let it go, and let it go to the point where now I am having to figure out HOW to barter to get the work done and do some/most of it myself. </p><p> </p><p>I want to move out of here, SC. I want to be with my Mom in OH. But I can't get him to move his arse, and when he can? He does in dribs and drabs and yeah - it makes me angry. My Mom says I've settled. I said I 'adjusted', to life with someone on pain medication so much so that we hardly talk. When he's not taking all the medication - things DO get done, but his memory is so shot like swiss cheese he gets frustrated and then that's the end of the attempt. </p><p> </p><p>I have an old car 19 years now, that I've kept going despite everyone screaming get a new one - and while I would love to get a new one - I want to scream at the government and SSI - because it took them 5 years to determine and award his disability. So by now? My credit is shot. I don't feel well, I have lousy insurance,I hate my job, I have a kid that is probably looking at 15 years tomorrow in court.....and for 10 cents I'd pray that lightning would strike the house just so I could get out of it and move. </p><p> </p><p>So I know how you feel........and it stinks,,,,,,and I don't have any solutions for you or I would use them myself. But maybe just knowing that you aren't alone helps - because up until this post I figured our numbers were small.......</p><p> </p><p>Yet - somehow I manage to paste a smile on my face, get up and go to work every day and I'm currently looking for job #2 because with the cost of gas and food I'm scared.....and maybe if I get job #2 - I can hire someone to fix the house, get out of here......put a little cash back for a new car.......and things will be better. As far as housework? </p><p> </p><p>I was part of a post here a while back that was "cleaning' house. Throwing out things - and simplifying. I did that in 2 rooms - I got rid of EVERYTHING but the bare essentials......and now? Cleaning in those 2 rooms are a snap........Knickknacks be dammed. - I'm a swiffer house cleaner now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 191976, member: 4964"] kjs, I found myself reading your post and thinking back to my first marriage. It was awful. So when I decided to finally start dating again and met DF, I was just amazed at his abilities to "fix" things (NOW) and go to dinner and take time off to come see ME, talk, help me around the house, with difficult child. It was amazing and short lived. DF had a work related injury and had back surgery. We moved into the house we live in now shortly after. About a year later the landlords were loosing the house even though we paid on time, and foreclosure was at hand. DF had drug so much junk and "Projects" home that he literally went into tears when I mentioned moving. (It was the drugs). Nine years later - nothing is still done, the house is falling apart, and I'm capable of doing the repairs but he gets very upset with feelings of being worthless. So I've let it go, and let it go to the point where now I am having to figure out HOW to barter to get the work done and do some/most of it myself. I want to move out of here, SC. I want to be with my Mom in OH. But I can't get him to move his arse, and when he can? He does in dribs and drabs and yeah - it makes me angry. My Mom says I've settled. I said I 'adjusted', to life with someone on pain medication so much so that we hardly talk. When he's not taking all the medication - things DO get done, but his memory is so shot like swiss cheese he gets frustrated and then that's the end of the attempt. I have an old car 19 years now, that I've kept going despite everyone screaming get a new one - and while I would love to get a new one - I want to scream at the government and SSI - because it took them 5 years to determine and award his disability. So by now? My credit is shot. I don't feel well, I have lousy insurance,I hate my job, I have a kid that is probably looking at 15 years tomorrow in court.....and for 10 cents I'd pray that lightning would strike the house just so I could get out of it and move. So I know how you feel........and it stinks,,,,,,and I don't have any solutions for you or I would use them myself. But maybe just knowing that you aren't alone helps - because up until this post I figured our numbers were small....... Yet - somehow I manage to paste a smile on my face, get up and go to work every day and I'm currently looking for job #2 because with the cost of gas and food I'm scared.....and maybe if I get job #2 - I can hire someone to fix the house, get out of here......put a little cash back for a new car.......and things will be better. As far as housework? I was part of a post here a while back that was "cleaning' house. Throwing out things - and simplifying. I did that in 2 rooms - I got rid of EVERYTHING but the bare essentials......and now? Cleaning in those 2 rooms are a snap........Knickknacks be dammed. - I'm a swiffer house cleaner now. [/QUOTE]
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