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is it me??
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 237797" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Jen,</p><p></p><p>I hope you already know, deep down, that you are not wrong. You have an unstable child and having her learn how to use sharp knives, thereby in her mind giving her permission to use them, is a major safety risk. My kids were all using sharp knives for supervised kitchen chores by age 7 or 8, except thank you. Wiz learned because cooking was very calming for him and he NEEDED to learn the safety rules for knife use. Jessie was just always in the kitchen and she asked. She has always been quite level headed, so it wasn't an issue. thank you has just started to learn. he has such coordination problems that he felt anxious about using a sharp knife. And he was right, he really couldn't use one safely until about now. But this was a PARING knife, not a large chef's knife or boning knife! They knew I would have a major fit and totally ruin their fun for weeks if they messed with the big knives.</p><p></p><p>As for sitting in the front seat, part of that is a height/weight issue on the safety side. I don't know how big she is. thank you once in a while gets to sit up front for a SHORT drive, but he is just now the right height and weight for it to be legal. </p><p></p><p>I would have a COW about a long car trip with a small child in the front seat. and in our state it is a fine of over $300. And if they see it on the camera at one of the toll roads they just mail you the fine and the photo. </p><p></p><p>As for the clothes, it is a hygiene issue, and I know you are struggling with those. But that would be far less important to me than the other issues. I would work on making it HER job to remember, maybe a reward when she gets home if she has showered/changed clothes. You could even take a digital picture of her before she left so you have proof of what she was wearing. </p><p></p><p>I think you will continue to have these kinds of problems with your ex. He is going to continue to deny her problems, and he is going to even tell her at times that she doesn't have problems (I have seen a lot of kids with one parent that does that - it seriously undermines things). You cannot control what he does when he has her, just like he cannot control what you do when you have her. You are going to have to work with him to reach a happy medium, or at least a tolerable medium. </p><p></p><p>For the car seat issue, get a copy of the actual law about it in your state AND ask the police what the fine is for a child in the front seat. Let him know you will happily report him for this, and even tell the police where he is driving so they can go find him.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you to limit visits to just during the day, not overnight since he won't take proper care of her?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 237797, member: 1233"] Jen, I hope you already know, deep down, that you are not wrong. You have an unstable child and having her learn how to use sharp knives, thereby in her mind giving her permission to use them, is a major safety risk. My kids were all using sharp knives for supervised kitchen chores by age 7 or 8, except thank you. Wiz learned because cooking was very calming for him and he NEEDED to learn the safety rules for knife use. Jessie was just always in the kitchen and she asked. She has always been quite level headed, so it wasn't an issue. thank you has just started to learn. he has such coordination problems that he felt anxious about using a sharp knife. And he was right, he really couldn't use one safely until about now. But this was a PARING knife, not a large chef's knife or boning knife! They knew I would have a major fit and totally ruin their fun for weeks if they messed with the big knives. As for sitting in the front seat, part of that is a height/weight issue on the safety side. I don't know how big she is. thank you once in a while gets to sit up front for a SHORT drive, but he is just now the right height and weight for it to be legal. I would have a COW about a long car trip with a small child in the front seat. and in our state it is a fine of over $300. And if they see it on the camera at one of the toll roads they just mail you the fine and the photo. As for the clothes, it is a hygiene issue, and I know you are struggling with those. But that would be far less important to me than the other issues. I would work on making it HER job to remember, maybe a reward when she gets home if she has showered/changed clothes. You could even take a digital picture of her before she left so you have proof of what she was wearing. I think you will continue to have these kinds of problems with your ex. He is going to continue to deny her problems, and he is going to even tell her at times that she doesn't have problems (I have seen a lot of kids with one parent that does that - it seriously undermines things). You cannot control what he does when he has her, just like he cannot control what you do when you have her. You are going to have to work with him to reach a happy medium, or at least a tolerable medium. For the car seat issue, get a copy of the actual law about it in your state AND ask the police what the fine is for a child in the front seat. Let him know you will happily report him for this, and even tell the police where he is driving so they can go find him. Is it possible for you to limit visits to just during the day, not overnight since he won't take proper care of her? [/QUOTE]
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