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Is it possible to die from too much stress???
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 461688" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome!! </p><p></p><p>As a nurse, surely you are aware that stress can do far more than just cause a heart attack!! It can cause incredible problems with every part of your body, from a heart attack to various kinds of headaches to wear and tear on certain muscles to making you far more susceptible to many types of infection to stuff I can't even think of!</p><p></p><p>in my opinion the first priority needs to be finding care for your daughter. A fifteen year old difficult child is not an option that is safe. What would keep him from either leaving her home asleep (or in frontof the tv) or worse taking her with him while he went for a joyride? What would stop him from blowing pot smokei n her face to "mellow her" and make her sleep? Or because he thought it would be funny? Not sure he is using pot, but if he is smoking it is a reasonable suspicion, esp given his other behaviors.</p><p></p><p>Try local message boards, websites and be sure to cal the local dept of human services/child protection/social work office - they are called different things in different states. They may help with the cost of child care and even if you earn too much for that they can certainly give you a list of providers who they have approved. Not sure I would take their approval as gospel that these are good people, but it is a list of people to interview that you didn't ahve before. </p><p></p><p>Choosing your mom to babysit your 2yo is a very personal decision. It depends on your relationship, how much you want her input/interference into the day to day life of your daughter and YOUR daily life (as others have mentioned, family is NOT always a great source of support - sometimes it is a source of far more problems), and certainly her health has to weigh in on her ability to care for your daughter. Is she not just capable of caring for her for a weekend, but capable of doing it on a regular basis?</p><p></p><p>You say the fathers are not active in their lives. Do they pay child support? Is it the court ordered amount? If not, why not? They certainly should contribute to their children's upbringing, at least financially at the very very least. If they don't pay support even though it is ordered, give great thought to hiring a service to collect it for you. Yes, the service will charge a % of the amt collected, usually of the back support collected, but that still gives you the rest of the $$, $$ you didn't have before AND it gets them into the system where support can be taken out along iwth taxes - whether or not the father agrees to it or wants it taken out. So yes, you would lose a portion of the back support owed, but you would have a chance to get the back support owed, and support going to the future - which would help provide quality child care.</p><p></p><p>The 15yo needs to be re-evaluated. A neuropsychologist evaluation would be really helpful, but if not available, at least have a new psychiatrist evaluation done. I would also have him see a neurologist to rule out any seizure disorder - seizures can cause all kinds of behavior and some kids are diagnosis'd with adhd when it is really seizures causing the problems. As adhd treatment didn't make the odd go away, well, something else is going on. Years ago, no one got adhd medications with-o an EEG to rule out seizures. now? they treat you like a nutjob if you ask for that. I know, because I demanded it - and got it for my oldest two when adhd was suspected. I was very glad I did, because my daughter has absence seizures and NOT adhd. Giving her adhd medications would have caused more seizures most likely, so it was an excellent thing that I stuck to my guns. </p><p></p><p>Welcome to our online family - keep coming back - many of us get a lot more help and support here than anywhere else!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 461688, member: 1233"] Welcome!! As a nurse, surely you are aware that stress can do far more than just cause a heart attack!! It can cause incredible problems with every part of your body, from a heart attack to various kinds of headaches to wear and tear on certain muscles to making you far more susceptible to many types of infection to stuff I can't even think of! in my opinion the first priority needs to be finding care for your daughter. A fifteen year old difficult child is not an option that is safe. What would keep him from either leaving her home asleep (or in frontof the tv) or worse taking her with him while he went for a joyride? What would stop him from blowing pot smokei n her face to "mellow her" and make her sleep? Or because he thought it would be funny? Not sure he is using pot, but if he is smoking it is a reasonable suspicion, esp given his other behaviors. Try local message boards, websites and be sure to cal the local dept of human services/child protection/social work office - they are called different things in different states. They may help with the cost of child care and even if you earn too much for that they can certainly give you a list of providers who they have approved. Not sure I would take their approval as gospel that these are good people, but it is a list of people to interview that you didn't ahve before. Choosing your mom to babysit your 2yo is a very personal decision. It depends on your relationship, how much you want her input/interference into the day to day life of your daughter and YOUR daily life (as others have mentioned, family is NOT always a great source of support - sometimes it is a source of far more problems), and certainly her health has to weigh in on her ability to care for your daughter. Is she not just capable of caring for her for a weekend, but capable of doing it on a regular basis? You say the fathers are not active in their lives. Do they pay child support? Is it the court ordered amount? If not, why not? They certainly should contribute to their children's upbringing, at least financially at the very very least. If they don't pay support even though it is ordered, give great thought to hiring a service to collect it for you. Yes, the service will charge a % of the amt collected, usually of the back support collected, but that still gives you the rest of the $$, $$ you didn't have before AND it gets them into the system where support can be taken out along iwth taxes - whether or not the father agrees to it or wants it taken out. So yes, you would lose a portion of the back support owed, but you would have a chance to get the back support owed, and support going to the future - which would help provide quality child care. The 15yo needs to be re-evaluated. A neuropsychologist evaluation would be really helpful, but if not available, at least have a new psychiatrist evaluation done. I would also have him see a neurologist to rule out any seizure disorder - seizures can cause all kinds of behavior and some kids are diagnosis'd with adhd when it is really seizures causing the problems. As adhd treatment didn't make the odd go away, well, something else is going on. Years ago, no one got adhd medications with-o an EEG to rule out seizures. now? they treat you like a nutjob if you ask for that. I know, because I demanded it - and got it for my oldest two when adhd was suspected. I was very glad I did, because my daughter has absence seizures and NOT adhd. Giving her adhd medications would have caused more seizures most likely, so it was an excellent thing that I stuck to my guns. Welcome to our online family - keep coming back - many of us get a lot more help and support here than anywhere else! [/QUOTE]
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