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General Parenting
Is it possible to help a difficult child too much??
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 146356" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>I don't know. I think if having structure etc allows the child to be successful and feel good about herself, then I don't think its a bad thing. A lot depends on whether the child can learn from natural consequences. Not all children are capable of learning. I have a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) child for example that has a very hard time learning from natural consequences. I guess the challenge for all of us to figure out what they can learn from and push them to take little baby steps towards independence all the time. But setting a child up for repeated failure is clearly not good. Let's face it, some of our children are going to need a lot more structure in their life than other children. For me the challenge is getting them through adolescence in one piece with enough maturity hopefully that they can manage their lives.</p><p></p><p>Now I make my children earn money for the things they want. I don't give in to whatever they want. but that is very different than providing structure--my youngest has a lot of tutoring because he needs the structure to do his homework and remain current with his class. I could let him fail, but what good would that do? I know he isn't capable of dealing with cause and effect in any kind of long term way.</p><p></p><p>good luck. It is a good thing to think about. But sometimes this all seems so easy for the professionals. They should try being parents to one of our kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 146356, member: 2322"] I don't know. I think if having structure etc allows the child to be successful and feel good about herself, then I don't think its a bad thing. A lot depends on whether the child can learn from natural consequences. Not all children are capable of learning. I have a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) child for example that has a very hard time learning from natural consequences. I guess the challenge for all of us to figure out what they can learn from and push them to take little baby steps towards independence all the time. But setting a child up for repeated failure is clearly not good. Let's face it, some of our children are going to need a lot more structure in their life than other children. For me the challenge is getting them through adolescence in one piece with enough maturity hopefully that they can manage their lives. Now I make my children earn money for the things they want. I don't give in to whatever they want. but that is very different than providing structure--my youngest has a lot of tutoring because he needs the structure to do his homework and remain current with his class. I could let him fail, but what good would that do? I know he isn't capable of dealing with cause and effect in any kind of long term way. good luck. It is a good thing to think about. But sometimes this all seems so easy for the professionals. They should try being parents to one of our kids. [/QUOTE]
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Is it possible to help a difficult child too much??
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