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Is it time for a new therapist?
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 317624" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Sounds like what happens in therapy--stays in therapy. And that's definitely a problem.</p><p> </p><p>Why can't you bring up stuff directly with your H? Seems that's a HUGE problem right there that has nothing to do with work....</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, when husband and I are having trouble calmly discussing a heated topic...we make arrangements to talk about it over the phone. That way, we avoid a face-to-face confrontation. Sometimes when even that's too hard, we agree to talk to each other on the phone <em>about our spouses</em>....as though we were just close friends. </p><p> </p><p>So I might say "<em>I'm feeling so alone because my big jerk of a husband yelled at me for no reason this morning--and now, I don't even want to see his face when he gets home.Why can't we just have a simple conversation instead of a fight?</em>" </p><p> </p><p>and he might respond "<em>You know, I was having a really bad morning because I have a meeting with the boss about a mistake I made, and I was kinda worried about it and not really paying attention to my wife and she started nagging me about some little thing--so I told her I couldn't think about that right now and she starts CRYING and says I never listen and I'm always yelling. It's not fair! She doesn't seem to understand all the stress I'm under these days</em>."</p><p> </p><p>For us, this method often helps us see the issue from the other person's point of view. Once we understand what the other was thinking and how they viewed the problem, we can usually negotiate a solution.</p><p> </p><p>Not sure if the same would work for you, but it might be worth a try.</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyFace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 317624, member: 6546"] Sounds like what happens in therapy--stays in therapy. And that's definitely a problem. Why can't you bring up stuff directly with your H? Seems that's a HUGE problem right there that has nothing to do with work.... Sometimes, when husband and I are having trouble calmly discussing a heated topic...we make arrangements to talk about it over the phone. That way, we avoid a face-to-face confrontation. Sometimes when even that's too hard, we agree to talk to each other on the phone [I]about our spouses[/I]....as though we were just close friends. So I might say "[I]I'm feeling so alone because my big jerk of a husband yelled at me for no reason this morning--and now, I don't even want to see his face when he gets home.Why can't we just have a simple conversation instead of a fight?[/I]" and he might respond "[I]You know, I was having a really bad morning because I have a meeting with the boss about a mistake I made, and I was kinda worried about it and not really paying attention to my wife and she started nagging me about some little thing--so I told her I couldn't think about that right now and she starts CRYING and says I never listen and I'm always yelling. It's not fair! She doesn't seem to understand all the stress I'm under these days[/I]." For us, this method often helps us see the issue from the other person's point of view. Once we understand what the other was thinking and how they viewed the problem, we can usually negotiate a solution. Not sure if the same would work for you, but it might be worth a try. --DaisyFace [/QUOTE]
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