is it too much to ask?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ready2run, Aug 18, 2011.

  1. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    for just one kid to be normal? just one? i have four.
    today i brought my 5yo in to start his autism assessment. *sigh* they looked at baby and said 'oh, he's also showing symptoms. we'd better start his assessment as well.' thanks, i was aware of that. so i told them "don't even go there. he's fine". i was trying to maintain a small amount of hope that one might just turn out to be a normal kid. guess they just had to burst my bubble on me. so now i am looking at all four of them most likely having it and wondering how i am supposed to manage this over the next 18 or so years until they are out on their own. i am not too happy. i mean, sure i knew it already, i know the signs. i didn't want to admit and really do you blame me? i am sick of assessments and appointments and psychiatrists, psychologists, specialists and professionals and respite people and therapists..........*bleck* i wish they would all just go away and leave me alone.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    {{ hugs }}
    Yes, life would be more fair of our kids' problems got spread out across many more kids (i.e. less problems per kid but more kids with problems).
    Instead, we get hammered.

    Two things to remember:
    1) Each child is an individual, and even IF they have identical DXes, the outcomes will not be the same. So you still have to parent each child according to the child. (which we have to do with our non-difficult child kids too!)
    2) Look after yourself. Its the only way you're going to get through it. Even if it means you need your own therapist - because with the load you are under, you need all the support you can get.
  3. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I also have 4 people with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) in the same house. We take things much slower than most households. Most of the therapists come to our house instead of us going to them. Just take life one second at a time and remember its ok to put in a movie so you can get a shower, go to the bathroom, ect... I write things down in a behavior journal or a diary because I'm not going to remember everything every one does. Writing also helps me release it so its not eating me up. I homeschool everyone except difficult child 1 because I don't have the energy to fight the schools. Its just easier for me to teach them myself. (difficult child 1's behavior is such that I can't homeschool right now.) I try to enjoy my kids. Yes, difficult child 2 is bouncing off the walls, but he is happy. I choose to enjoy the happiness instead of telling him to calm down. I found as much respite care I could. It gets better as you find what is "normal" for your family.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I have two with diagnosis Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and at least 1 more with undx Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). All 3 are totally different from each other. They all have different strengths and weakness....and personalities.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    Apparently so. I only have 3 but was HOPING the third might resemble 'normal'. Lately, not so much, but we'll see.
  6. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    yes, they are all very different. i am thinking of homeschooling mine too. i don't like how school effected them last year. in fact my little guy who is now 5 was so miserable because of school last year i feel guilty that school is starting up again. my 6yo i could do with having him gone all day but he tends to make things up for attention and tell the teachers i will beat him if he (does x they told him to do but he doesn't want to) and has caused me alot of grief because of it. i finally got them all settled into a happy routine and school is starting back up soon. i'm not looking forward to their reactions to it. i was really down this morning because of the diagnosis's and possible diagnosis's. i'm feeling a bit better now, i find it best not to really think about it. i just have to keep telling myself it's not my fault.... it's not my fault. i didn't ask for this or do anything to create it. it just is. i get mad when i think of all the people who have all these happy well balanced kids and i have all this extra baggage to deal with. i try every morning to wake up happy and get things running smoothly and make sure it's a fun day for everyone(as much as i can). i try to make sure we do an outing or activities everyday to make the most of it. i just don't want them to look back and remember never being able to do anything or have all the stress i feel reflecting on them because it's not their fault and for the most part i can accept them for who they are, problems included because i love them so much. i could just do without the diagnosis