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Is it wrong that I don't even like her anymore?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 174343" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Julia, that's good. You've clearly given it serious thought.</p><p></p><p>Something to consider (from our own experience) - your ADHD is not necessarily going to bear much resemblance to hers. There can be quite big differences within the same family. </p><p></p><p>Even if she's not Aspie, she "feels" Aspie to me and I do wonder if some of the techniques that have worked so well for many of us, might also help you with her too. Even if the diagnosis is negative, it may function as a working hypothesis. At least in the absence of anything that works better!</p><p></p><p>We also have the ADHD running (galloping!) in our family so I'm familiar with that as well. With difficult child 1, we were told he was ADHD and DEFINITELY not autistic. I specifically asked that question when he was 6 and was conclusively told, "No way," by a psychologist who worked with the Autism Association. </p><p>difficult child 1 was 15 when Asperger's was finally diagnosed.</p><p>In all those years we never properly were able to manage him and looking back, we did a lot of things wrong. But even doing those things wrong, taught us a great deal which we are using now.</p><p></p><p>I didn't mean to imply that YOU had fears of the autism label - I was describing the fears that I had when I was younger, which I now realise were the result of seriously wrong information and the attitude in general towards autism, back in those days.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry about the experience you had growing up. I've seen it with a sister of mine as well as a few nephews. One in particular, his parents were determined that he would do well in school and they really were horrible to him. I was in my teacher training phase at the time and I could see what was wrong but couldn't get through to my brother about his son. They were very wealthy (at the time) and seemed to think that if they threw enough money at the problem he would grow up happy and successful. Not so.</p><p></p><p>I see you're fighting CFS as well - not easy! No wonder she really gets you down. It's a nasty combination to try to deal with. been there done that. In spades. Did you know it was an Aussie researcher who ensured that clinical depression was not to exclude someone from a CFS diagnosis? Before him, doctors would tell a patient, "We find that you're suffering from depression. That is the problem, it can't be CFS."</p><p>After our bloke came along (Ian Hickie) doctors were able to say that a patient could have depression AND CFS, which meant that treatment could have multiple directions.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 174343, member: 1991"] Julia, that's good. You've clearly given it serious thought. Something to consider (from our own experience) - your ADHD is not necessarily going to bear much resemblance to hers. There can be quite big differences within the same family. Even if she's not Aspie, she "feels" Aspie to me and I do wonder if some of the techniques that have worked so well for many of us, might also help you with her too. Even if the diagnosis is negative, it may function as a working hypothesis. At least in the absence of anything that works better! We also have the ADHD running (galloping!) in our family so I'm familiar with that as well. With difficult child 1, we were told he was ADHD and DEFINITELY not autistic. I specifically asked that question when he was 6 and was conclusively told, "No way," by a psychologist who worked with the Autism Association. difficult child 1 was 15 when Asperger's was finally diagnosed. In all those years we never properly were able to manage him and looking back, we did a lot of things wrong. But even doing those things wrong, taught us a great deal which we are using now. I didn't mean to imply that YOU had fears of the autism label - I was describing the fears that I had when I was younger, which I now realise were the result of seriously wrong information and the attitude in general towards autism, back in those days. I'm sorry about the experience you had growing up. I've seen it with a sister of mine as well as a few nephews. One in particular, his parents were determined that he would do well in school and they really were horrible to him. I was in my teacher training phase at the time and I could see what was wrong but couldn't get through to my brother about his son. They were very wealthy (at the time) and seemed to think that if they threw enough money at the problem he would grow up happy and successful. Not so. I see you're fighting CFS as well - not easy! No wonder she really gets you down. It's a nasty combination to try to deal with. been there done that. In spades. Did you know it was an Aussie researcher who ensured that clinical depression was not to exclude someone from a CFS diagnosis? Before him, doctors would tell a patient, "We find that you're suffering from depression. That is the problem, it can't be CFS." After our bloke came along (Ian Hickie) doctors were able to say that a patient could have depression AND CFS, which meant that treatment could have multiple directions. Hang in there. I'm glad you found us. Marg [/QUOTE]
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