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Failure to Thrive
Is relinquishing custody best for everyone's safety?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 747146" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Was he adopted or did he have lots of trauma and changes as an infant to five yeas old. Sounds like reactive attachmentt disorder/Conduct Disorder. I feel strongly that dangerous children should be treated outside of the home and away from siblings.</p><p></p><p>We adopted a boy who molested his siblings and everyone was too scared of him (the kids) to tell us. A combo of liking fire play, peeing and pooping inappropriately at older ages, and cruelty to animals together are red flags for impending adult psychopathy. Its psychopathy in a child but cant be diagnosed yet. These three behaviors are called the McDonald Triad....look it up. Sounds like your don may fit. </p><p></p><p>I would put him in foster care or anywhere except your home. Perhaps therapy can help. I am not a big believer that kids like this often get better. Ours is long gone....we had CPS take him, but he is still in trouble per FB. He is 27 now with four kids (full body shudder). We never wanted to see this boy again when we found out what he did (plus he killed our dogs and we didnt think it could have been him).</p><p></p><p> Our other kids were terrified of him and we were horrified that he could have done this so many times to a 3 and 5 year old and strangle our dogs (we thought it had to be a neighbor. This son acted like he loved our dogs and our kids and us). And probably other kids we didnt know were also molested by him.</p><p></p><p> He came to us from age 11 and left at 13. Maybe we would have felt differently if he had come as an infant. My other kids were also adopted but as babies. We wanted him out forever.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your son exposed himself to a sibling. You dont know for sure what else he has done. We didnt know. CD kids are sneaky and scare their victims. "If you tell anyone about this I will kill Mom and Dad and then you." My littles believed him.</p><p></p><p>It is your call. My own opinion is that the other kids at home must be protected. He needs help outside of your home. Dont bring him home. My strong two cents.</p><p></p><p>If you relinquish your rights you no longer have any legal connection to him and are not notified of or responsible for his actions. If you keep custody and he, say, goes to foster care you can visit if social worker allows it and you pay child support to the state and are still responsible. You cant see him if you give up your rights. He is then a legal stranger.</p><p></p><p> I have no opinion on whether or not to give up your rights, but you still seem attached to him so maybe not. We gave up our rights but our son had only been with us three years and we were not attached to him yet like we were to our littles who came as infants and are our hearts and souls, so for us it was no issue once we knew what the older boy could do and did do. Plus we loved our pets dearly. I would almost call that boy evil. He had no problem hurting animals and people. No conscience. Without a conscience, how can you ever learn right from wrong???</p><p></p><p>Blessings and hope and prayers. I know its awful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 747146, member: 1550"] Was he adopted or did he have lots of trauma and changes as an infant to five yeas old. Sounds like reactive attachmentt disorder/Conduct Disorder. I feel strongly that dangerous children should be treated outside of the home and away from siblings. We adopted a boy who molested his siblings and everyone was too scared of him (the kids) to tell us. A combo of liking fire play, peeing and pooping inappropriately at older ages, and cruelty to animals together are red flags for impending adult psychopathy. Its psychopathy in a child but cant be diagnosed yet. These three behaviors are called the McDonald Triad....look it up. Sounds like your don may fit. I would put him in foster care or anywhere except your home. Perhaps therapy can help. I am not a big believer that kids like this often get better. Ours is long gone....we had CPS take him, but he is still in trouble per FB. He is 27 now with four kids (full body shudder). We never wanted to see this boy again when we found out what he did (plus he killed our dogs and we didnt think it could have been him). Our other kids were terrified of him and we were horrified that he could have done this so many times to a 3 and 5 year old and strangle our dogs (we thought it had to be a neighbor. This son acted like he loved our dogs and our kids and us). And probably other kids we didnt know were also molested by him. He came to us from age 11 and left at 13. Maybe we would have felt differently if he had come as an infant. My other kids were also adopted but as babies. We wanted him out forever. Your son exposed himself to a sibling. You dont know for sure what else he has done. We didnt know. CD kids are sneaky and scare their victims. "If you tell anyone about this I will kill Mom and Dad and then you." My littles believed him. It is your call. My own opinion is that the other kids at home must be protected. He needs help outside of your home. Dont bring him home. My strong two cents. If you relinquish your rights you no longer have any legal connection to him and are not notified of or responsible for his actions. If you keep custody and he, say, goes to foster care you can visit if social worker allows it and you pay child support to the state and are still responsible. You cant see him if you give up your rights. He is then a legal stranger. I have no opinion on whether or not to give up your rights, but you still seem attached to him so maybe not. We gave up our rights but our son had only been with us three years and we were not attached to him yet like we were to our littles who came as infants and are our hearts and souls, so for us it was no issue once we knew what the older boy could do and did do. Plus we loved our pets dearly. I would almost call that boy evil. He had no problem hurting animals and people. No conscience. Without a conscience, how can you ever learn right from wrong??? Blessings and hope and prayers. I know its awful. [/QUOTE]
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Is relinquishing custody best for everyone's safety?
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