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is the summer worse or better
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 445593" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>PS: (you are probably not going to like this advice)</p><p></p><p>you and husband would be wise to plan now for one of you to drop back to at least part time work. And I would assume it is a permanent change, not a temporary one.</p><p></p><p>difficult child's take an enormous amount of attention and care if they are to be successful in life and if your family life is to work at all. It's nearly impossible, in my experience, for a family with a difficult child to function if both parents work full time on the same schedule.</p><p></p><p>One of the things I think is hardest about having a difficult child is coming to grips with the much bigger sacrifices and changes parent's must make because they have been blessed with a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to graciously accept that you can't watch TV at night until after the kids are in bed because your difficult child will go ballistic all evening if you do.</p><p></p><p>it's hard to graciously accept that you have to spend lots of time, money and attention on difficult child and greatly reduce the amoung of time, money and attention you spend on yourself. Not that you should do nothing for yourself, just that you didn't get a kid you can "armchair parent" and that means you have to be there to directly supervise, to directly intervene, to directly instruct. This is a very real sacrifice and hard to adjust to - especially if you have other kids who are easy child and know that raising a kid isn't always this hard. Reality - this kid is not like your easy child and you DO have to make sacrifices if you want to be a good parent and take care of your family.</p><p></p><p>This is why I strongly suggest couples therapy when you have a difficult child in your house. You will be angry, you will feel isolated, you will need to lean on each other for support in ways that will stress your relationship as it has never been stressed before. Everyone I know has needed help adjusting to the reality of having a difficult child and has needed help developing good communication skills, handling hurt feelings and getting "on the same page" in terms of the tactics and goals you as parents are going to use and/or pursue.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 445593, member: 11920"] PS: (you are probably not going to like this advice) you and husband would be wise to plan now for one of you to drop back to at least part time work. And I would assume it is a permanent change, not a temporary one. difficult child's take an enormous amount of attention and care if they are to be successful in life and if your family life is to work at all. It's nearly impossible, in my experience, for a family with a difficult child to function if both parents work full time on the same schedule. One of the things I think is hardest about having a difficult child is coming to grips with the much bigger sacrifices and changes parent's must make because they have been blessed with a difficult child. It's hard to graciously accept that you can't watch TV at night until after the kids are in bed because your difficult child will go ballistic all evening if you do. it's hard to graciously accept that you have to spend lots of time, money and attention on difficult child and greatly reduce the amoung of time, money and attention you spend on yourself. Not that you should do nothing for yourself, just that you didn't get a kid you can "armchair parent" and that means you have to be there to directly supervise, to directly intervene, to directly instruct. This is a very real sacrifice and hard to adjust to - especially if you have other kids who are easy child and know that raising a kid isn't always this hard. Reality - this kid is not like your easy child and you DO have to make sacrifices if you want to be a good parent and take care of your family. This is why I strongly suggest couples therapy when you have a difficult child in your house. You will be angry, you will feel isolated, you will need to lean on each other for support in ways that will stress your relationship as it has never been stressed before. Everyone I know has needed help adjusting to the reality of having a difficult child and has needed help developing good communication skills, handling hurt feelings and getting "on the same page" in terms of the tactics and goals you as parents are going to use and/or pursue. Best wishes [/QUOTE]
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