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Is there always a reason?
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<blockquote data-quote="jal" data-source="post: 524643" data-attributes="member: 3477"><p>I can only speak for myself, but in our case I don't think there was an external reason why our difficult child behaved the way that he did, sometimes does. I say that because he has improved so much in his behavior in the last 2 years.</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child is our biological child. husband and I have been together for 21 years, married for 13 and difficult child is 9 1/2. He was planned, pregnancy was healthy and he was the best infant. By the time he could walk the trouble started. Couldn't keep daycare, etc. I knew school would be an issue and it was. He's in an alternative program and has blossomed, getting ready to come back to district.</p><p></p><p>No stone was unturned in trying to get help. I won't even list the professionals, clinics, test, universities, medications, in-home support we tried. difficult child's life has been beyond stable, two loving, committed parents who are on the same page, living in our own home since before having difficult child, working the same jobs for many years, loving extended family near by and every comfort possible afforded to him.</p><p></p><p>Both husband and I are at every PPT, every dr appointment, every sporting event he particpate's in. He is our only child. Why did he/we go through all we went through in the early years? It wasn't because of some external reason, or neglect, it was something going on with difficult child internally, something we tried endlessly to figure out, tried to correct, tried to help.</p><p></p><p>With time, a little maturity and a lot of support (we have a great SD, luckily) difficult child has come so far and now does very well, he still has some moments but we are all in a much better place than we used to be. So, no, I don't believe that some kids are just bad, a lot are a product of their environments, but some kids are just very complex because that's who they are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jal, post: 524643, member: 3477"] I can only speak for myself, but in our case I don't think there was an external reason why our difficult child behaved the way that he did, sometimes does. I say that because he has improved so much in his behavior in the last 2 years. Our difficult child is our biological child. husband and I have been together for 21 years, married for 13 and difficult child is 9 1/2. He was planned, pregnancy was healthy and he was the best infant. By the time he could walk the trouble started. Couldn't keep daycare, etc. I knew school would be an issue and it was. He's in an alternative program and has blossomed, getting ready to come back to district. No stone was unturned in trying to get help. I won't even list the professionals, clinics, test, universities, medications, in-home support we tried. difficult child's life has been beyond stable, two loving, committed parents who are on the same page, living in our own home since before having difficult child, working the same jobs for many years, loving extended family near by and every comfort possible afforded to him. Both husband and I are at every PPT, every dr appointment, every sporting event he particpate's in. He is our only child. Why did he/we go through all we went through in the early years? It wasn't because of some external reason, or neglect, it was something going on with difficult child internally, something we tried endlessly to figure out, tried to correct, tried to help. With time, a little maturity and a lot of support (we have a great SD, luckily) difficult child has come so far and now does very well, he still has some moments but we are all in a much better place than we used to be. So, no, I don't believe that some kids are just bad, a lot are a product of their environments, but some kids are just very complex because that's who they are. [/QUOTE]
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