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Is there no hope?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 697272" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>There really IS hope, but not until we start making them live with the consequences of their choices. You might want to read a book called Choice Therapy by Dr William Glasser. I know about it because my stepMIL worked in prisons and juvenile detention centers teaching this method. It is astonishingly effective. In the prisons they taught the prisoners how to do the therapy and then after she would leave the prisoners would do this therapy with other prisoners. It is largely about what we do here - teaching people to live with the consequences of their choices, and that if they want different results, they have to make different choices. We used the methods with our son when things were bad. My father actually did this instinctively with both my son and with his students (he taught junior high for decades). It worked. My son used to be incredibly violent, esp to women who were younger than he was. Now? He is incredibly protective of women and has less than no respect or use for any man who does not. He is happy and healthy and building a career and living in his first apartment. </p><p></p><p>I also agree that the books recommended earlier will be a big help for you. When your son cannot get money or anything else from you, he will learn to make other choices. If he wants to stop being homeless, there is help out there, but you have to work for it. You have to do the paperwork and appointments at social services. You have to follow the rules for any program, and you have to do more than ask random people for work if you want a job. But he knows this most likely and truly doesn't want to do the work to get what he says he wants. </p><p></p><p>At this point all you really can do to change and find hope is to work on changing yourself and becoming healthier. If you want migraine info privately, you can start a private conversation with me. If you cannot figure out how, post on here that you want the info privately and I will set it up. There is a lot that migraines can steal from you, and there is a lot of info that is hard to find and some doctors don't even know. I will happily share the info that I have with you if you want.</p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 697272, member: 1233"] There really IS hope, but not until we start making them live with the consequences of their choices. You might want to read a book called Choice Therapy by Dr William Glasser. I know about it because my stepMIL worked in prisons and juvenile detention centers teaching this method. It is astonishingly effective. In the prisons they taught the prisoners how to do the therapy and then after she would leave the prisoners would do this therapy with other prisoners. It is largely about what we do here - teaching people to live with the consequences of their choices, and that if they want different results, they have to make different choices. We used the methods with our son when things were bad. My father actually did this instinctively with both my son and with his students (he taught junior high for decades). It worked. My son used to be incredibly violent, esp to women who were younger than he was. Now? He is incredibly protective of women and has less than no respect or use for any man who does not. He is happy and healthy and building a career and living in his first apartment. I also agree that the books recommended earlier will be a big help for you. When your son cannot get money or anything else from you, he will learn to make other choices. If he wants to stop being homeless, there is help out there, but you have to work for it. You have to do the paperwork and appointments at social services. You have to follow the rules for any program, and you have to do more than ask random people for work if you want a job. But he knows this most likely and truly doesn't want to do the work to get what he says he wants. At this point all you really can do to change and find hope is to work on changing yourself and becoming healthier. If you want migraine info privately, you can start a private conversation with me. If you cannot figure out how, post on here that you want the info privately and I will set it up. There is a lot that migraines can steal from you, and there is a lot of info that is hard to find and some doctors don't even know. I will happily share the info that I have with you if you want. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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