Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is there such a thing as 'Aspie-lite'?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 461646" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Another vote for YES!!! I did lol at the thought that autism is an intense version of the male personality, esp because the males in my family are so likely to show more classic aspie traits. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion you are likely dealing with some degree of aspie behavior. My dad and bro are undx'd simply because having a diagnosis would do nothing for them - they don't need help, just ask them. But knowing it lets Mom and I use methods that we learned to help Wiz with them. And they work. Move toward a polite version of "Do to Get". Rude? you don't get cold milk and hot coffee. It waits awhile or the coffee gets an ice cube. They are NOT stupid. They will pick up that after a while if they are nice the food is hot and you are so much more organized getting a meal on the table but if they are rude then you suddenly are not hungry during dinner (having eaten in the kitchen while cooking while the food is hot) and their food is cold (stick it in the freezer for a couple of minutes if you need to, or nuke something cold to warm it up). Took Wiz exactly three bowls of melted ice cream to figure out that demanding it did not get what he wanted - it got soup and he did not get to have seconds or to replace it. Yes, he had a fit. No, we didn't pay attention to him. I think I may have dropped a comment at another time that gee, using good manners with Mom gets what you want, and not melted ice cream, but I may have just thought it.</p><p></p><p>Above all, don't let them walk on you. If you do, they will expect it to be like that at all times. Remember theory of the mind (they assume that you know what they know even if you have no way of knowing it) and tweak life so that they don't get rewards for being unpleasant to you. If mother in law is rude about others, tell her that in your presence you would appreciate that she use the good manners you know she has - maybe in softer terms, but be up front about things that bug you. When it comes to your knee, she likely has NO idea of what it means when you say it hurts. So instead of soldiering on through five stores, tell her you can only do X amt because the doctor put limits so that you won't be in too much pain, and expect her to comply. Then don't give in. </p><p></p><p>You might even find tips in books about aspergers. can't hurt to look, and it might help. I found that limits needed to be very matter of fact and routine. Even if it was something very new, I acted like this was the rule, of course it was, had always been, and no one could possibly have a problem with that. It didn't mean there was no fuss about rules/limits but it did mean a LOT less fussing about them, at least a lot less that I had to hear/deal with. husband never could master it, and had loads and loads more problems with not just Wiz, but also my dad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 461646, member: 1233"] Another vote for YES!!! I did lol at the thought that autism is an intense version of the male personality, esp because the males in my family are so likely to show more classic aspie traits. in my opinion you are likely dealing with some degree of aspie behavior. My dad and bro are undx'd simply because having a diagnosis would do nothing for them - they don't need help, just ask them. But knowing it lets Mom and I use methods that we learned to help Wiz with them. And they work. Move toward a polite version of "Do to Get". Rude? you don't get cold milk and hot coffee. It waits awhile or the coffee gets an ice cube. They are NOT stupid. They will pick up that after a while if they are nice the food is hot and you are so much more organized getting a meal on the table but if they are rude then you suddenly are not hungry during dinner (having eaten in the kitchen while cooking while the food is hot) and their food is cold (stick it in the freezer for a couple of minutes if you need to, or nuke something cold to warm it up). Took Wiz exactly three bowls of melted ice cream to figure out that demanding it did not get what he wanted - it got soup and he did not get to have seconds or to replace it. Yes, he had a fit. No, we didn't pay attention to him. I think I may have dropped a comment at another time that gee, using good manners with Mom gets what you want, and not melted ice cream, but I may have just thought it. Above all, don't let them walk on you. If you do, they will expect it to be like that at all times. Remember theory of the mind (they assume that you know what they know even if you have no way of knowing it) and tweak life so that they don't get rewards for being unpleasant to you. If mother in law is rude about others, tell her that in your presence you would appreciate that she use the good manners you know she has - maybe in softer terms, but be up front about things that bug you. When it comes to your knee, she likely has NO idea of what it means when you say it hurts. So instead of soldiering on through five stores, tell her you can only do X amt because the doctor put limits so that you won't be in too much pain, and expect her to comply. Then don't give in. You might even find tips in books about aspergers. can't hurt to look, and it might help. I found that limits needed to be very matter of fact and routine. Even if it was something very new, I acted like this was the rule, of course it was, had always been, and no one could possibly have a problem with that. It didn't mean there was no fuss about rules/limits but it did mean a LOT less fussing about them, at least a lot less that I had to hear/deal with. husband never could master it, and had loads and loads more problems with not just Wiz, but also my dad. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is there such a thing as 'Aspie-lite'?
Top