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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 557908" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, as all parents of difficult children know, he may NOT be doing willful misbehavior, and, believe it or not, we get tired of hearing that it IS willful misbehavior. So I would keep an open mind about it. My son is on the autism spectrum and until he was diagnosed we heard that crapola all the time. He is muc better after tons and tons of interventions and help that is offered here, but he was NOT willfully misbehaving and you don't knkow if difficult child is either.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion it is not your place to set rules for difficult child. Sometimes we have to let some things go when we have kids like this, and you are NOT his parent in any way. In fact, he barely knows you.</p><p></p><p>I am very against new lovers moving in with their SO's and trying to parent their kids. Why should he listen to you or respect you? From his point of you you invaded his house and took attention away from him from his father. </p><p></p><p>I also assume you knew about all this before you moved in...that he is a non-drinker and doesn't like drinking around his kids. How well did you know him before you gave up everything to move in with him? Was he an internet romance? Just wondering...seems you are not a good match for one another. He doesn't sound like a good parent, but I'm only hearing one side of the story. These difficult children can EXHAUST us and we do make mistakes sometimes. </p><p></p><p>Again, my advice is to go into therapy to try to empower yourself so that you can have a good life away from this situation. You didn't cause it and you can't do anything to change it. SO will choose his child over you, as he should. He would not be a very good father if he chose a new girlfriend over his very disturbed son. </p><p></p><p></p><p>JMO. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the reality is...you have no rights to this child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 557908, member: 1550"] Well, as all parents of difficult children know, he may NOT be doing willful misbehavior, and, believe it or not, we get tired of hearing that it IS willful misbehavior. So I would keep an open mind about it. My son is on the autism spectrum and until he was diagnosed we heard that crapola all the time. He is muc better after tons and tons of interventions and help that is offered here, but he was NOT willfully misbehaving and you don't knkow if difficult child is either. in my opinion it is not your place to set rules for difficult child. Sometimes we have to let some things go when we have kids like this, and you are NOT his parent in any way. In fact, he barely knows you. I am very against new lovers moving in with their SO's and trying to parent their kids. Why should he listen to you or respect you? From his point of you you invaded his house and took attention away from him from his father. I also assume you knew about all this before you moved in...that he is a non-drinker and doesn't like drinking around his kids. How well did you know him before you gave up everything to move in with him? Was he an internet romance? Just wondering...seems you are not a good match for one another. He doesn't sound like a good parent, but I'm only hearing one side of the story. These difficult children can EXHAUST us and we do make mistakes sometimes. Again, my advice is to go into therapy to try to empower yourself so that you can have a good life away from this situation. You didn't cause it and you can't do anything to change it. SO will choose his child over you, as he should. He would not be a very good father if he chose a new girlfriend over his very disturbed son. JMO. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the reality is...you have no rights to this child. [/QUOTE]
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