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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 558040" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Personal attacks on this board don't win you any supporters.</p><p></p><p>In your first post on this thread you typed "WILLFUL misbehavior" in an otherwise confrontational tone. Those of us who have raised these kids know that what looks like "willful misbehavior" to others is usually a SYMPTOM of their disorder(s) and with the right therapies/interventions/medications improve or disappear. Frankly, we are sick of hearing it. We've heard it for <strong>years</strong>, along with...if you were more strict, more lenient, less protective, more protective, etc, ad nauseum. It hits a nerve and I happen to be very confident of my parenting abilities, yet I still had a visceral reaction to those words, with they way they were typed and the rest of the tone surrounding it. That doesn't mean that our kids never intentionally misbehave, but the vast majority of what is perceived as "willful misbehavior" by others is not. Does that mean put up and shut up? No, but traditional parenting techniques aren't going to get you far. </p><p></p><p>You moved away from your home and job and within a very short period of time - in what should be your "honeymoon" phase - you're in a rough patch. Either you and SO need to get on the same page quickly, or it's just not going to work. Period. </p><p></p><p>I've been a single parent since my youngest was 18 months old. There is no way I would have ever let another person come into my house and parent either of my children, but especially not my daughter with her very special needs. Your SO may say he wants you to step in, but it sounds like he is having a very hard time actually doing so. He needs to decide if he meant what he said, and you need to work as a team.</p><p></p><p>People here have been through the trenches. If you ask, you're going to get an honest answer. You may or may not like it. You can take it or leave it - or the gentler way of saying that is "take what you need and leave the rest".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 558040, member: 7083"] Personal attacks on this board don't win you any supporters. In your first post on this thread you typed "WILLFUL misbehavior" in an otherwise confrontational tone. Those of us who have raised these kids know that what looks like "willful misbehavior" to others is usually a SYMPTOM of their disorder(s) and with the right therapies/interventions/medications improve or disappear. Frankly, we are sick of hearing it. We've heard it for [B]years[/B], along with...if you were more strict, more lenient, less protective, more protective, etc, ad nauseum. It hits a nerve and I happen to be very confident of my parenting abilities, yet I still had a visceral reaction to those words, with they way they were typed and the rest of the tone surrounding it. That doesn't mean that our kids never intentionally misbehave, but the vast majority of what is perceived as "willful misbehavior" by others is not. Does that mean put up and shut up? No, but traditional parenting techniques aren't going to get you far. You moved away from your home and job and within a very short period of time - in what should be your "honeymoon" phase - you're in a rough patch. Either you and SO need to get on the same page quickly, or it's just not going to work. Period. I've been a single parent since my youngest was 18 months old. There is no way I would have ever let another person come into my house and parent either of my children, but especially not my daughter with her very special needs. Your SO may say he wants you to step in, but it sounds like he is having a very hard time actually doing so. He needs to decide if he meant what he said, and you need to work as a team. People here have been through the trenches. If you ask, you're going to get an honest answer. You may or may not like it. You can take it or leave it - or the gentler way of saying that is "take what you need and leave the rest". [/QUOTE]
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