Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Is this another level of letting go?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 556501" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I haven't excluded my difficult children from holiday celebrations, even when things were at their worst. I couldn't bring myself to do that, personally -- but you have to decide what you can live with for your own situation. I just sort of prepare myself for the day, resolve to detach if moodiness strikes, and have a plan to get a difficult child out of there if things turn too sour (someone to give a ride home, or a pre-planned, calmly detached speech of "I think it's time for you to go"). Luckily no *major* drama has ever erupted, just minor stuff. </p><p></p><p>I keep my expectations low, and accept that our holidays are "different" than other families. Our holidays will never be Normal Rockwell ones. It may seem like a lousy way to approach a holiday, but it's how I've learned to adjust over the years. I ignore as much of the snippiness as I can, if and when it erupts, and during the day just remind myself that it will all be over in a few hours. Over the years it's gotten better, and some holidays have even been actually pleasant. In recent years, since Oldest has no drivers' license or car, I've encouraged her to bring a friend to dinner -- selfishly so that I don't have to pick her up and drive her home. It also helps to have another person as a buffer. She's the one that is always the most unpredictable, her moods can change SO quickly -- but they're less likely to if she has a friend there.</p><p></p><p>All that said, a lot of this has to do with the fact that it's just me and my girls (and now my grandkids). I have no other family (except my brother, who's in CA and that's a whole other story). If I excluded my difficult children from holidays as part of my detachment ...meh, it would be even more depressing than dealing with their difficult child-ness <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 556501, member: 1157"] I haven't excluded my difficult children from holiday celebrations, even when things were at their worst. I couldn't bring myself to do that, personally -- but you have to decide what you can live with for your own situation. I just sort of prepare myself for the day, resolve to detach if moodiness strikes, and have a plan to get a difficult child out of there if things turn too sour (someone to give a ride home, or a pre-planned, calmly detached speech of "I think it's time for you to go"). Luckily no *major* drama has ever erupted, just minor stuff. I keep my expectations low, and accept that our holidays are "different" than other families. Our holidays will never be Normal Rockwell ones. It may seem like a lousy way to approach a holiday, but it's how I've learned to adjust over the years. I ignore as much of the snippiness as I can, if and when it erupts, and during the day just remind myself that it will all be over in a few hours. Over the years it's gotten better, and some holidays have even been actually pleasant. In recent years, since Oldest has no drivers' license or car, I've encouraged her to bring a friend to dinner -- selfishly so that I don't have to pick her up and drive her home. It also helps to have another person as a buffer. She's the one that is always the most unpredictable, her moods can change SO quickly -- but they're less likely to if she has a friend there. All that said, a lot of this has to do with the fact that it's just me and my girls (and now my grandkids). I have no other family (except my brother, who's in CA and that's a whole other story). If I excluded my difficult children from holidays as part of my detachment ...meh, it would be even more depressing than dealing with their difficult child-ness :) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Is this another level of letting go?
Top