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Is this another level of letting go?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 556827" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you for your responses, it means a lot to me. You all pretty much mirrored all the various thoughts going through my head and heart. I would have been a miserable Mom on any of the holidays without my difficult child there. I did talk to my granddaughter, I was honest and shared how I truly felt and she agreed that we couldn't leave her Mom out. She is such a compassionate kid, I was proud of her for that reaction. My SO will (almost!) always do what he believes makes me happy, so we all ended up being in agreement. I will invite my daughter and I hope she comes.</p><p></p><p>I put the same question out to my support group. They had pretty much the same responses as you all did. When i expressed my concerns for my granddaughter, the therapist commented that as she grows up, she will be dealing with her Mom without me there in the middle protecting her all the time and she will need to negotiate that territory alone. I thought that was a good point. The therapist also mentioned that since I have not seen my difficult child in quite awhile and I had so dramatically changed our relationship and was not enabling her anymore, that there was a possibility that my difficult child might surprise me and show up in a different and perhaps healthier way. I don't expect that, but as she said, <em>it could happen. </em></p><p></p><p>It makes a big difference to share my dilemmas here and in my support group to get feedback and support when I am stymied about what to do. You all have similar feelings and provide me with so much food for thought. I was saddened to hear Janet and SuZir share their experiences of being left out, and Star's memories of being alone on the holidays, those stories hurt my heart to think of ANYONE alone on a holiday, that has got to feel just horrible. And, DDD, you rock, 50 years <strong>is</strong> enough. SuZir, I wasn't offended by anything you said, I always appreciate your honest input, you made excellent points, as everyone did. <strong> Thank you all. </strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 556827, member: 13542"] Thank you for your responses, it means a lot to me. You all pretty much mirrored all the various thoughts going through my head and heart. I would have been a miserable Mom on any of the holidays without my difficult child there. I did talk to my granddaughter, I was honest and shared how I truly felt and she agreed that we couldn't leave her Mom out. She is such a compassionate kid, I was proud of her for that reaction. My SO will (almost!) always do what he believes makes me happy, so we all ended up being in agreement. I will invite my daughter and I hope she comes. I put the same question out to my support group. They had pretty much the same responses as you all did. When i expressed my concerns for my granddaughter, the therapist commented that as she grows up, she will be dealing with her Mom without me there in the middle protecting her all the time and she will need to negotiate that territory alone. I thought that was a good point. The therapist also mentioned that since I have not seen my difficult child in quite awhile and I had so dramatically changed our relationship and was not enabling her anymore, that there was a possibility that my difficult child might surprise me and show up in a different and perhaps healthier way. I don't expect that, but as she said, [I]it could happen. [/I] It makes a big difference to share my dilemmas here and in my support group to get feedback and support when I am stymied about what to do. You all have similar feelings and provide me with so much food for thought. I was saddened to hear Janet and SuZir share their experiences of being left out, and Star's memories of being alone on the holidays, those stories hurt my heart to think of ANYONE alone on a holiday, that has got to feel just horrible. And, DDD, you rock, 50 years [B]is[/B] enough. SuZir, I wasn't offended by anything you said, I always appreciate your honest input, you made excellent points, as everyone did. [B] Thank you all. [/B] [/QUOTE]
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Is this another level of letting go?
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