Is this even close to normal?

klmno

Active Member
Well the conversation in general was my fault, I guess. I asked how she was doing, then asked if she had her staples taken out yet ...stopped, then said, "or did she get stitches", and that's what started this conversation. When he said he didn't know because he didn't know if she had staples or stitches, I was floored and I guess when he noticed the surprised look on my face he kept trying to clarify why or something and started spitting out these other details. I have noticed that sometimes he gives details about things that most people wouldn't thhough. A coworker asked about the baby's feeding schedule/sleeping habits the other day and the next thing you know he was giving us details about his wife trying to use the pump. I don't think this part is intentionally krass- I think he really is that ignorant about what's appropriate or what's too private- appropriate boundaries, IOW. This is why viewing him as the big respectable professional he expects others to see him as is difficult sometimes.

Maybe I went too far by asking if she had her staples out and if she had staples or stitches- I was just thinking about how much better I felt after I had healed enough to have my staples out and was hoping she'd re-couped that much.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
He is definitely off, but it's not your problem. I know what you mean by wondering, though. I wonder all sorts of things about people. :)
We had separate bedrooms when I was 9 mo's pregnant. I could not get comfortable and kept husband awake all night. We surveyed our friends and found that the majority had to sleep separately during the last month. Then everyone got back together after the baby was born. Then got sep bedrooms again after 2, 3,4 kids because it's musical beds, depending upon who is nursing, who is crying, who is sick. I've ended up on the couch a few times just because I was too tired to go back upstairs. As one very good, elderly experienced friend told me, "Don't worry about it. You need your sleep. You can always visit one another down the hallway." lol!

As for not knowing about the staples, stitches, water breaking ... that poor woman is alone in her journey for a good part of this, isn't she? I would not be happy with-that at all. Grrr.
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Well the conversation in general was my fault, I guess. I asked how she was doing, then asked if she had her staples taken out yet ...stopped, then said, "or did she get stitches", and that's what started this conversation.

H says that I am borderline overstepping the boundaries because I ask too many or too personal questions. I really don't. I do ask questions, but only when I think it's appropriate and only with someone I know won't mind. In fact, VERY often, some people begin sharing information with me when all I did was smile politely at them! on the other hand, H hates talking with strangers or people he just met, whereas I'm a bit more open.

This guy sounds like a bumbling self centered idiot.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
And there is no law that says the people are obligated to answer anyone's questions. Even in court, you can take the 5th! :)
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Personally I prefer to think of it this way. The wife/Mother is married to a loser. Likely he is a loser who has amorous thoughts when he feels like doing the dirty. SO....my theory is that she doesn't want him involved in her life any more than absolutely necessary, didn't bother to share info, is toughing it out and thoroughly enjoying having him alone in the MBR and leaving her alone. She's probably singing "I Am Woman" the whole time he is at work and then quietly enjoying her freedom from the bum. LOL DDD
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
DDD...you may be right...lol.

Tony says I talk to much too and ask people too many questions. I am not afraid at all to ask a stranger a question if I see someone wearing something I like or doing something I want to know about...etc. He just shrinks into the background and acts like I am a crazy person. Most of the time I end up having lovely conversations with perfect strangers. One time I absolutely embarrassed him to death because I asked this woman who appeared to be of mixed race but had very curly hair like Keyana and she was in the hair care isle. I asked her what she used on her hair to help comb it out etc. Explained about Keyana's hair and all that. We had a nice conversation. Tony escaped to another isle...lol. He thought I was completely out of line. The woman didnt mind in the least. I think we talked for over ten minutes about hair, kids, how to do kids hair...lol. Then we parted. Tony was so red in the face and thought I had done something wrong. I dont.

Now this boss of yours seems odd but then maybe he grew up in a home where sex, household duties and such were very iron clad. Almost a 50's type atmosphere. I wonder if he was in the room for the baby's birth. Im betting no. Maybe he just isnt good with small babies. Some folks arent. Mandy is so lucky she has Cory who will get up and do just about anything for the baby...though he does freak out of when they spit up. He is convinced they are dying...lol. Choking and spitting up are his weakness. I think he finally learned about the choking though with Keyana...lets hope.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Janet, talking about hair care in a hair products aisle is perfectly normal. Tell Tony I said so!

DDD, that's a possibility. Hmm.
 

klmno

Active Member
Interesting theory, DDD! I wondered, too, if maybe never being married until you're in your 40's might make a difference in how much a couple shares with each other vs how independent they are and expect their partner to be. Maybe she never volunteered to tell him and he never asked. Whatever.....I wouldn't want a marriage like that but to each his own.

I still think boss is whacky in a few ways and he's very difficult to work for a lot of times because he's so unpredictable and can go off at a person at a moment's notice when he's seemed fine with them the day before. I'll just continue to do my best to deal with the situation and hope something better comes along before it ends up as bad as it was before, again. And I do think it will- I do think his pendulum swings and people takes turns being on his s***list.

I will say that I haven't been on that list of his lately (knoocks on wood) and he told me today that he has 2 nephews that would make my son look like a saint- that one of them had taken a sw-off shotgun into a school and now lives in a "mental institution"- whatever he means by that. He knows the minimum amount of stuff my son has done so it did make me feel better to hear him say that. It's just hard for me to understand how he can be insightful in some ways and so cruel in others- does that make him a good person who just doesn't get it or does that make him a sociopath? LOL!
 
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