Is this ok?

[RN0441]

Susiestar: he said the effexor helps him and he has been on many different medications so I am leaving that on him. I think it's like he is on a vacation now living in paradise while we freeze our butts off in Chicago! He is in sober living and IOP and working. However we are happy to give him that if he is sober.

We are not spending the night with him; just the day but he doesn't know that yet. I am sure he just wants to spend more time with us as we were his support for many years.

 

[Copabanana]

He said he has no desire to use drugs or alcohol at all. He is much happier in his new environment and working and being around people his own age that are trying to do something with their life.

All of this can be one hundred percent so, and he can still in an instant decide to do drugs anyway. That is the nature of addiction, the illogic of it, the fact that he will act against his will, his own interests, his health in favor of the drug.

You as parents, while not responsible for his choices, have every right to ally with the part of him that is responsible, with oversight, with boundaries.

I would think that telling him the truth might be a good thing: We want to limit the interference with your treatment. A short visit meets best with our needs.

This is not a normal time. Not a normal visit. He is in drug treatment because he is a drug addict. That is the elephant in the room.

 

[RN0441]

Copa, you hit the nail on the head.

Thanks for putting what I was thinking into words. I was thinking he needs to continue to do what he's doing now while we are there (working, going to meetings, making adult choices to take care of what he needs to take care of, etc.) and we are just coming to visit and spend the day. Just doesn't feel good to spend the night period!

I know he doesn't want to be "like this", he's said it. I try to explain that his addiction is stronger than him and any of us. I do know he has anxiety and depression and sometimes I think a touch of Aspergers but he denies the latter. I told him it doesn't mean he can do anything about it anyway, but be aware of it. He was 100% normal until puberty so he probably doesn't have it but although he has an above average IQ I think there is something else going on - another program running in the background that keeps him down.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I think a touch of Aspergers but he denies the latter. I told him it doesn't mean he can do anything about it anyway, but be aware of it. He was 100% normal until puberty so he probably doesn't have it but although he has an above average IQ I think there is something else going on

If he was 100% normal until puberty, then it isn't Asperger's. That shows up (even if we don't recognize it as such at the time) well before they go to school.

It could, however, be a mental illness - a number of those hit between puberty and age 25.