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General Parenting
Isolation and misunderstanding
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 436940" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hmmm, thanks Keista for your nice words but I'm afraid I have (in the interests of hard truth!) have to take issue with them... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I have a kind, understanding and forgiving SIDE... For the rest, well, I am as mean, spiteful, vindictive and just plain horrible as the rest of them!! Actually I feel quite angry with my friend for immediately putting this on me rather than questioning herself for allowing her son to go and stay weekends with a severely ill alcoholic and the effect that must be having on her child... but I also realise this anger is MY projection at my resentment, grief and bafflement at having a difficult child to deal with, with all the constant misunderstanding and disapproval that leads to. In general my British friends are much more tolerant and understanding - the French all think it's my lack of discipline, blah, blah. In fact the ONLY time I have seen positive changes in J is when I have brought positive methods to bear. That said, I think I lack assurance at times when it comes to J... sometimes (like all of us?) I feel out of my depth, uncertain of how best to act with him. Not acting out of this inner confidence and "responsiveness", things do not go well... that is what I aim for more than "authority", I think. If that makes sense.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 436940, member: 11227"] Hmmm, thanks Keista for your nice words but I'm afraid I have (in the interests of hard truth!) have to take issue with them... :) I have a kind, understanding and forgiving SIDE... For the rest, well, I am as mean, spiteful, vindictive and just plain horrible as the rest of them!! Actually I feel quite angry with my friend for immediately putting this on me rather than questioning herself for allowing her son to go and stay weekends with a severely ill alcoholic and the effect that must be having on her child... but I also realise this anger is MY projection at my resentment, grief and bafflement at having a difficult child to deal with, with all the constant misunderstanding and disapproval that leads to. In general my British friends are much more tolerant and understanding - the French all think it's my lack of discipline, blah, blah. In fact the ONLY time I have seen positive changes in J is when I have brought positive methods to bear. That said, I think I lack assurance at times when it comes to J... sometimes (like all of us?) I feel out of my depth, uncertain of how best to act with him. Not acting out of this inner confidence and "responsiveness", things do not go well... that is what I aim for more than "authority", I think. If that makes sense. [/QUOTE]
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