racheline
New Member
Hi - this is my first post here. I don't know what to do and have been trying for a couple years now to find out what is going on with my son. I was going to get him evaluated this summer but I was told the county only evaluated for possible autism (and no variations of it - only "full blown" autism). People who see how "good" he can be when he's happy and occupied - figure he's just a little boy who is full of energy. But my entire family (and my husband's) as well as close friends all tell me there is something else to it.
My son who will be 4 in a couple months is not just "full of energy" like many boys are. He's full of MORE energy than most kids he plays with. I was just watching a video of him from LAST summer when he was 2.5 and when I saw him in comparison to all his other boy cousins (ages 2-4 at the time) - mine is the only one acting a little "different" - much more excited than the other kids. My mother in law who raised 3 boys - has a difficult time with him because of his hard to manage "energy".
My husband and I have picked up also on the fact that when he's given negative discipline he basically goes "into himself" (does this growling sound and grits his teeth) and won't talk, won't make eye contact and often will lay on the ground or even go into a sort of tantrum or hide under a table. This was evident last night when my old fashioned grandparents got on his case about several things (such as having his shoes on when sitting on a chair on his feet to boost his height at the table). He was very upset.
We've tried to implement as much positive discipline as possible, saving any negative discipline for when the positive is not working. Things have improved with this tactic but not entirely. There is still something a little "special" about him but we can't figure it out. I'm wondering if also at home he needs more activities like crafts and playing board games with me (though it would be a challenge trying to keep him still enough) and more outdoor play. I've heard if boys don't get enough physical play it can make them a bit "antsy".
He's also been in trouble a few times in Sunday school class - for not listening to the teacher, not coming when called, and once when a little boy started a fight with him over a toy and he did not back down. I can see how that would upset him and once he is upset he becomes unmanageable. When something upsets him at home sometimes there is nothing else I can do to calm him except to pick him up and place him in bed and tell him he must calm down before he comes out - I give him that quiet dimmed place to calm himself - otherwise he begins to destroy things, hurt his sister, hurt me, get into things he knows he's not allowed to. It's like he gets "set off".
One more thing I'll mention: when he is tired is the absolute worst. Obviously most little kids get cranky and maybe even into trouble when they are tired but when my son nears bedtime or tires himself out - his energy level actually intensifies and he is unable to sit still, begins literally jumping up and down in an almost vibrating way and begins to REALLY act out for attention (many times by biting the baby or hurting her in some way). We try not to let him get to this point but sometimes if we are out during the day and he gets tired (from being more stimulated than usual) - it becomes a total nightmare and I often must stop whatever I'm doing and get him back to the car and home for a nap. He does not usually need a nap at home unless he's been more active in the morning than usual.
Sorry so long - I hope someone has any idea if there is something we are not realizing or something that could help us out with his behavior. I just hate it when he "shuts down". At that point I'd swear he was autistic but then when he "snaps out of it" he seems "mostly" "normal".
My son who will be 4 in a couple months is not just "full of energy" like many boys are. He's full of MORE energy than most kids he plays with. I was just watching a video of him from LAST summer when he was 2.5 and when I saw him in comparison to all his other boy cousins (ages 2-4 at the time) - mine is the only one acting a little "different" - much more excited than the other kids. My mother in law who raised 3 boys - has a difficult time with him because of his hard to manage "energy".
My husband and I have picked up also on the fact that when he's given negative discipline he basically goes "into himself" (does this growling sound and grits his teeth) and won't talk, won't make eye contact and often will lay on the ground or even go into a sort of tantrum or hide under a table. This was evident last night when my old fashioned grandparents got on his case about several things (such as having his shoes on when sitting on a chair on his feet to boost his height at the table). He was very upset.
We've tried to implement as much positive discipline as possible, saving any negative discipline for when the positive is not working. Things have improved with this tactic but not entirely. There is still something a little "special" about him but we can't figure it out. I'm wondering if also at home he needs more activities like crafts and playing board games with me (though it would be a challenge trying to keep him still enough) and more outdoor play. I've heard if boys don't get enough physical play it can make them a bit "antsy".
He's also been in trouble a few times in Sunday school class - for not listening to the teacher, not coming when called, and once when a little boy started a fight with him over a toy and he did not back down. I can see how that would upset him and once he is upset he becomes unmanageable. When something upsets him at home sometimes there is nothing else I can do to calm him except to pick him up and place him in bed and tell him he must calm down before he comes out - I give him that quiet dimmed place to calm himself - otherwise he begins to destroy things, hurt his sister, hurt me, get into things he knows he's not allowed to. It's like he gets "set off".
One more thing I'll mention: when he is tired is the absolute worst. Obviously most little kids get cranky and maybe even into trouble when they are tired but when my son nears bedtime or tires himself out - his energy level actually intensifies and he is unable to sit still, begins literally jumping up and down in an almost vibrating way and begins to REALLY act out for attention (many times by biting the baby or hurting her in some way). We try not to let him get to this point but sometimes if we are out during the day and he gets tired (from being more stimulated than usual) - it becomes a total nightmare and I often must stop whatever I'm doing and get him back to the car and home for a nap. He does not usually need a nap at home unless he's been more active in the morning than usual.
Sorry so long - I hope someone has any idea if there is something we are not realizing or something that could help us out with his behavior. I just hate it when he "shuts down". At that point I'd swear he was autistic but then when he "snaps out of it" he seems "mostly" "normal".
