M
maddadkeith
Guest
I am trying to find out where or how to help my son. I'll make this as short as I can.
When my son was in grade school he was diagnosed with a low i.q., (below 80, and in my opinion his maturity is several years behind his actual age.), ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I was a single parent to him and his older brother. He received S.S.I. as a child. When he was fourteen I called the police to take him from my home. They refused until I told them I would beat the child to death (No, there was no prior child abuse) if they did not get him out of my site. Before, during and after his four years in DHS custody I did everything the doctors and the government told me to do to try to help my son. I failed, and DHS failed. DHS seemed more at a loss of what to do than I was. They had no control of him, and no place to put him. When he turned 18 DHS released him. He stayed with me for awhile, told me to eat #$%$ and die, and left my home. He was with his mom (she had never contacted her sons in the time he was in DHS custody.) for a few years. Neither of them would even look for work. And, I did not learn to say no to both of them until about 2 years ago. He is now living in Phoenix with a girlfriend and her sister. I have never met them. But, they both receive SSI, and the three of them are living off of the girls income. Now, as an adult my 23 year old son has never been able to hold a job for more than a couple of days. He says he is looking for work. Not only do I doubt it, but I believe he is mentally incapable of looking for, finding and holding a job without total and unrelenting supervision. When he left my home he was physically fit. I suppose he still is. And, that is about all of the background I know to give.
Now, my son is finally one step from homelessness. The good thing about it is that his predicament seems to be dawning on him. The rest of the outlook is not good. I am retired for medical reasons, and will be in a single bedroom, section 8 housing sometime in November, 2010. He will not be allowed there, and I have no will to live like that again anyway. And, my health would not take the stress. Except for the time that he spent in DHS custody I was never sure that when I woke up each day I would not have a knife in my chest. But, I am his father, and I want my son to live and prosper. However, it has amazed me that he is not already in prison or dead.
Now, with all of this this said, I am receiving calls from him again. He has asked if the three of them could move in with me. My answer was no. Although I know his calls are still for that same reason he is telling me that he is trying to find work. I am trying to make it clear to him to contact SSI to get back on SSI, and continue to look for work. But, I cannot control what he does while he is in Phoenix. And, as usual, I truly doubt that he will do anything I have said. History shows that what I advise him to do will be discarded in favor of doing nothing but asking everyone to do everthing for him.
Now, does anyone here know where I can at least tell him to go to ask for help? I have told him to try to find help for training of any kind. I told him to start at DHS and Social Security. Any suggestions would be appreciated. And, yes, I will relay all of them to my son. But, I have to leave it up to him to act on the suggestions.
When my son was in grade school he was diagnosed with a low i.q., (below 80, and in my opinion his maturity is several years behind his actual age.), ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I was a single parent to him and his older brother. He received S.S.I. as a child. When he was fourteen I called the police to take him from my home. They refused until I told them I would beat the child to death (No, there was no prior child abuse) if they did not get him out of my site. Before, during and after his four years in DHS custody I did everything the doctors and the government told me to do to try to help my son. I failed, and DHS failed. DHS seemed more at a loss of what to do than I was. They had no control of him, and no place to put him. When he turned 18 DHS released him. He stayed with me for awhile, told me to eat #$%$ and die, and left my home. He was with his mom (she had never contacted her sons in the time he was in DHS custody.) for a few years. Neither of them would even look for work. And, I did not learn to say no to both of them until about 2 years ago. He is now living in Phoenix with a girlfriend and her sister. I have never met them. But, they both receive SSI, and the three of them are living off of the girls income. Now, as an adult my 23 year old son has never been able to hold a job for more than a couple of days. He says he is looking for work. Not only do I doubt it, but I believe he is mentally incapable of looking for, finding and holding a job without total and unrelenting supervision. When he left my home he was physically fit. I suppose he still is. And, that is about all of the background I know to give.
Now, my son is finally one step from homelessness. The good thing about it is that his predicament seems to be dawning on him. The rest of the outlook is not good. I am retired for medical reasons, and will be in a single bedroom, section 8 housing sometime in November, 2010. He will not be allowed there, and I have no will to live like that again anyway. And, my health would not take the stress. Except for the time that he spent in DHS custody I was never sure that when I woke up each day I would not have a knife in my chest. But, I am his father, and I want my son to live and prosper. However, it has amazed me that he is not already in prison or dead.
Now, with all of this this said, I am receiving calls from him again. He has asked if the three of them could move in with me. My answer was no. Although I know his calls are still for that same reason he is telling me that he is trying to find work. I am trying to make it clear to him to contact SSI to get back on SSI, and continue to look for work. But, I cannot control what he does while he is in Phoenix. And, as usual, I truly doubt that he will do anything I have said. History shows that what I advise him to do will be discarded in favor of doing nothing but asking everyone to do everthing for him.
Now, does anyone here know where I can at least tell him to go to ask for help? I have told him to try to find help for training of any kind. I told him to start at DHS and Social Security. Any suggestions would be appreciated. And, yes, I will relay all of them to my son. But, I have to leave it up to him to act on the suggestions.
