It happened and I'm devistated

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PatriotsGirl

Guest
Yes, right now is the hardest time. Detaching gets easier when it is not in your face all of the time. Now is when you are going to need the most support. Hope you are doing better today. Please have peace i nknowing you are doing the right thing by your daughter even though she won't see that, yet.
 
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Nomad

Guest
I'm so sorry. I haven't read all the replies....but the ones I have read sound like have provided good advice. Don't know her age, but since you are at the PE forum, it means she is over 18 and likely well over 18.
So, getting her admitted on a scholarship type deal is off. She needs treatment and I like the idea of trying to find a low cost place in your neighborhood. Also, REALLY like the idea of you attending Al Anon or Families Anonymous. They will help give you strength. Since she has bipolar illness, nothing wrong with you offering to help her out with medical expenses. She needs to see a doctor regularly and needs medication. BUT, not a good idea at all to enable her by letting her think it is ok in any, way, shape or form to steal. If you do not press charges this time, in my humble opinion, you should make it abundantly clear that this is the very last time that will ever happen again and if she steals even a paperclip from you again, call the police. I think you've done a good thing, by putting an end to this. I would NOT let her stay at your place again and again, let her know that the stealing WILL STOP and you WILL CALL THE POLICE the very next time it should happen (and really for real do it).
Agree to pay for medical services as you are willing to pay for it and as she is willing to get help. As best as you can, and this is REALLLLLL hard, get your emotions out of this, hope for the best, pray hard, recognize that this is NOT YOUR FAULT and move forward with YOUR LIFE as best as you can.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
I have to say, if she's stealing from you, she's stealing from other people too. Maybe you're ok with not turning her in, but I guarantee you that the other people whom she is stealing from and don't know who is doing it would not thank you for not doing your civic duty. Your duty is no longer to your daughter, your duty is to your community. That this person who used to be your daughter is the one who is harming the community shouldn't give her a free pass. At this point you're complicit in her crime and I'd be very careful as to who I tell that I knew what she was doing if you don't turn her in. You are playing games with your own reputation and security at this point. Honestly, if your daughter were stealing from me and I found out that you knew what she was up to I'd sue you in a heartbeat if I thought you had anything that could be used to pay me back.
 
Hi NN - My daughter is the same age as yours and also a meth head. Sorry to say that at her age, and with this drug and the point she has reached of theft, and not just petty theft, she is way past just needing direction and guidance. By all means check into rehab/sober living houses, if she truly desires to get better then having the info to hand is good, but realize that nothing you can say will make that desire happen. It has to come from within her. The only thing that you can do to help bring it about is to let her experience the natural consequences of her choices, even though every instinct as a mom (or dad in my case) is screaming that you need to rescue her, get her out of there and MAKE her see reason. My sympathy for the pain you are feeling.
 
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