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Parent Emeritus
It happened and I'm devistated
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 451815" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I speak as a mom whose daughter used almost everything, including meth, and quit! And she quit at 19 (used from 12-19). </p><p>She had the police called on her many times and was finally kicked out at eighteen. She was lucky she had a brother to live with, but he is as straight as an arrow and she knew it was her last chance not to be homeless so she straightened up her act without rehab...without any help at all (although we would have given it to her). She told me that her reason for quitting was "I saw my friend with track marks on her arm and thought 'That could be ME one day.'" I believe you should go tough on her. She's thirty...I have kids in their thirties. That is far from being a kid and I think that too much understanding gives them no motivation to quit...and quitting is HARD. No matter how much you put her into rehabs, if she isn't ready to quit, she will not quit. She will quit ONLY when she WANTS to, not beforehand. A stint in jail may force her hand, but living in comfort in your house with no consequences for stealing won't motivate her to do something that will be very hard for her to do. </p><p></p><p>I turned my daughter in for using pot. She was sixteen. I didn't agonize over it at all. I know that enabling somebody who has a serious problem is the worst thing that you can do for them. I highly recommend going to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting. I did a lot of crying at those meetings, but it also gave me the strength to do what I had to do to help her. She has agreed that being tough on her helped her get motivated to quit. Today she is 27, has her own house and is graduating from college (on her own dime) next semester. She has a straight boyfriend of eight years and live a quiet, peaceful life in the suburbs. It amazes me as I thought she'd either end up in jail or dead.</p><p></p><p>I really hope it goes well for you and that you can find the strength to stop enabling her. To be frank, meth abuse can kill. (((Hugs)))...I know first hand how hard it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 451815, member: 1550"] I speak as a mom whose daughter used almost everything, including meth, and quit! And she quit at 19 (used from 12-19). She had the police called on her many times and was finally kicked out at eighteen. She was lucky she had a brother to live with, but he is as straight as an arrow and she knew it was her last chance not to be homeless so she straightened up her act without rehab...without any help at all (although we would have given it to her). She told me that her reason for quitting was "I saw my friend with track marks on her arm and thought 'That could be ME one day.'" I believe you should go tough on her. She's thirty...I have kids in their thirties. That is far from being a kid and I think that too much understanding gives them no motivation to quit...and quitting is HARD. No matter how much you put her into rehabs, if she isn't ready to quit, she will not quit. She will quit ONLY when she WANTS to, not beforehand. A stint in jail may force her hand, but living in comfort in your house with no consequences for stealing won't motivate her to do something that will be very hard for her to do. I turned my daughter in for using pot. She was sixteen. I didn't agonize over it at all. I know that enabling somebody who has a serious problem is the worst thing that you can do for them. I highly recommend going to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting. I did a lot of crying at those meetings, but it also gave me the strength to do what I had to do to help her. She has agreed that being tough on her helped her get motivated to quit. Today she is 27, has her own house and is graduating from college (on her own dime) next semester. She has a straight boyfriend of eight years and live a quiet, peaceful life in the suburbs. It amazes me as I thought she'd either end up in jail or dead. I really hope it goes well for you and that you can find the strength to stop enabling her. To be frank, meth abuse can kill. (((Hugs)))...I know first hand how hard it is. [/QUOTE]
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