husband drinking all day, had a fight in the afternoon because I asked him to get the three arrest reports on his son. I have a specialized security clearance and I need to demonstrate that this kid's accusations are the result of his own problems, not mine. husband refused to believe that I need to report police contact and claimed I was being a drama queen and refused to get them. I had gotten all the reports that have my name and address in them, but I can't get the ones where difficult child was arrested for weapons possession in school. So I asked husband for them, after all I made copies of the reports I got for him. But no he wouldn't. So I shut down.
After a bit, he asked, are we okay, can I give you a hug? I said no. He went away. He noticed I was fiddling with my camcorder (to make myself feel better I was watching videos of my kids being born). This brought out the paranoia in him. What are you doing? "Minding my own business." Why are you looking at the camcorder, are you gathering evidence. "No, what evidence. Leave me alone." I want to see, let me see your camcorder. "Go away." And he took steps towards me like he was going to grab it, but glanced at my 19 year old lying on the couch and thought better of it. I said, "If you put hands on me, if you touch me I'm calling 911".
He thought better of it. He'd never done it before.
DInner came. He made plates for stepson and stepdau. They ate at the breakfast bar. My son19 and son15 were with a friend upstairs in the farthest bedroom playing video games. husband went on the back porch leaving difficult child alone in the kitchen with a knife on the counter. So I got a glass and a coke and some ice and stood at the end of the counter and talked to stepdau. I gave the dog a porkchop bone and she took it to the entryway rug to eat it. husband said from now on people could rub their feet in the rug, something I'd asked them not to do because it's silk. He went on about how the dog was treated better than people. I rolled my eyes, and it just set him off. I was fat, I was lazy, I didn't do anything, why don't I go sit at my computer, get away from his daughter, get away from his daughter. Called me a three time loser, lifted up his shirt showed me his belly and said mine was twice as fat as his (not true). I called him an alcoholic and told him he was obnoxious when he drank, and he said he'd have to drink a whole lot more than this to be as obnoxious as me. He called me psychotic. One of his favorite programs is "Snapped" where they profile women who kill their husbands and he said he had to watch it because I was going to kill him. He told me I was a bad mother and told stepdaughter "This is not a mother." Stepdaughter started crying.
That's when he started saying, get away from my daughter, get away from my daughter. And I ignored him and poured my coke into my glass. He rushed towards me, grabbed me by my upper arm just as I was saying, "If you touch me I'm calling 911." and shoved me into the refrigerator. I broke away, grabbed the phone called 911.
BY this time stepdaughter was screaming. I could hardly hear 911 operator.
husband suddenly got reasonably. "Please don't do this, please, please don't do this."
I turned my back and did it. The police came and immediately put husband into handcuffs and separated everyone. Everyone agreed even husband that he'd put hands on me. He said I just stepped back. I don't know what else he said.
Upshot. The police didn't arrest him but made him and my stepkids go to a hotel. He had to take a cab because he was drinking and couldn't drive. They would have had to put difficult child into juvvy because I wouldn't keep him without husband and I don't think they wanted to so they let husband go to a hotel. I wasn't really hurt, just shaken. The officer was one who'd had a number of encounters with difficult child.
So they packed and left. He gave me the number on how to get a restraining order. He said CPS would be calling probably within 72 hours. The prosecuting attorney would consider whether to press charges.
Stepdaughter blew me a kiss when she left.
I apologized to my two kids. My 19 year old who'd witnessed him bullying me in the afternoon, said it wasn't my fault and it was okay. My 15 year old said about the impending divorce, that he was fine with it. I called my 18 year old at college, and told him and he felt bad for me, and if I needed him to come next weekend he would.
I sent a text to my supervisor that said, "Husband shoved me into frig, called 911, not hurt, need tomorrow off for legal stuff, am divorcing, sorry".
So now it's going to be a messy divorce. He'll cut off the insurance and the electricity, I'll file a restraining order against him and difficult child, I've got my lawyer and will contact a realtor, and we will manage the best we can.
I just hope I don't have to live with him while we are doing this. But the officer kept saying, this is his house too, and that's what my lawyer told me as well.
After a bit, he asked, are we okay, can I give you a hug? I said no. He went away. He noticed I was fiddling with my camcorder (to make myself feel better I was watching videos of my kids being born). This brought out the paranoia in him. What are you doing? "Minding my own business." Why are you looking at the camcorder, are you gathering evidence. "No, what evidence. Leave me alone." I want to see, let me see your camcorder. "Go away." And he took steps towards me like he was going to grab it, but glanced at my 19 year old lying on the couch and thought better of it. I said, "If you put hands on me, if you touch me I'm calling 911".
He thought better of it. He'd never done it before.
DInner came. He made plates for stepson and stepdau. They ate at the breakfast bar. My son19 and son15 were with a friend upstairs in the farthest bedroom playing video games. husband went on the back porch leaving difficult child alone in the kitchen with a knife on the counter. So I got a glass and a coke and some ice and stood at the end of the counter and talked to stepdau. I gave the dog a porkchop bone and she took it to the entryway rug to eat it. husband said from now on people could rub their feet in the rug, something I'd asked them not to do because it's silk. He went on about how the dog was treated better than people. I rolled my eyes, and it just set him off. I was fat, I was lazy, I didn't do anything, why don't I go sit at my computer, get away from his daughter, get away from his daughter. Called me a three time loser, lifted up his shirt showed me his belly and said mine was twice as fat as his (not true). I called him an alcoholic and told him he was obnoxious when he drank, and he said he'd have to drink a whole lot more than this to be as obnoxious as me. He called me psychotic. One of his favorite programs is "Snapped" where they profile women who kill their husbands and he said he had to watch it because I was going to kill him. He told me I was a bad mother and told stepdaughter "This is not a mother." Stepdaughter started crying.
That's when he started saying, get away from my daughter, get away from my daughter. And I ignored him and poured my coke into my glass. He rushed towards me, grabbed me by my upper arm just as I was saying, "If you touch me I'm calling 911." and shoved me into the refrigerator. I broke away, grabbed the phone called 911.
BY this time stepdaughter was screaming. I could hardly hear 911 operator.
husband suddenly got reasonably. "Please don't do this, please, please don't do this."
I turned my back and did it. The police came and immediately put husband into handcuffs and separated everyone. Everyone agreed even husband that he'd put hands on me. He said I just stepped back. I don't know what else he said.
Upshot. The police didn't arrest him but made him and my stepkids go to a hotel. He had to take a cab because he was drinking and couldn't drive. They would have had to put difficult child into juvvy because I wouldn't keep him without husband and I don't think they wanted to so they let husband go to a hotel. I wasn't really hurt, just shaken. The officer was one who'd had a number of encounters with difficult child.
So they packed and left. He gave me the number on how to get a restraining order. He said CPS would be calling probably within 72 hours. The prosecuting attorney would consider whether to press charges.
Stepdaughter blew me a kiss when she left.
I apologized to my two kids. My 19 year old who'd witnessed him bullying me in the afternoon, said it wasn't my fault and it was okay. My 15 year old said about the impending divorce, that he was fine with it. I called my 18 year old at college, and told him and he felt bad for me, and if I needed him to come next weekend he would.
I sent a text to my supervisor that said, "Husband shoved me into frig, called 911, not hurt, need tomorrow off for legal stuff, am divorcing, sorry".
So now it's going to be a messy divorce. He'll cut off the insurance and the electricity, I'll file a restraining order against him and difficult child, I've got my lawyer and will contact a realtor, and we will manage the best we can.
I just hope I don't have to live with him while we are doing this. But the officer kept saying, this is his house too, and that's what my lawyer told me as well.
