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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 746340" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>My thoughts and positive energy are with you New Leaf and Elsi. I am right there with you, my son was released from rehab a month ago, delivering pizza in an uninspected car with no heat that just bit the dust. It's frigid cold here in New Hampshire. What was said about trying to prove our love by rescuing rings so true to me, and it never works. It's an endless well, and I always end up being called heartless and at fault. Sadly, as soon as I let my son get a foot in the door - a shower, a ride - the requests become bigger and more. Often I am just filled with grief.</p><p></p><p>I am coming to accept that my son makes poor decisions and has few real life skills, and I keep excusing it by saying his choices are out of desperation. I am trying to detach, but the FOG is always at my heels. I am reading an excellent book called Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. I am the one who needs to change. And I echo what others have said to be kind to ourselves. </p><p></p><p>NL, if you want to go to court, go, but for me I knew that the only reason that my son wanted me there was to put on a show of support for the court. I finally told him that I will not be involved in any thing to do with the legal system with him. I always felt stressed and worse when I went, afraid the court would ask me something that I wasn't ready for, and it happened. My son also continues to lie and get released to my address even though I have told him no.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 746340, member: 19832"] My thoughts and positive energy are with you New Leaf and Elsi. I am right there with you, my son was released from rehab a month ago, delivering pizza in an uninspected car with no heat that just bit the dust. It's frigid cold here in New Hampshire. What was said about trying to prove our love by rescuing rings so true to me, and it never works. It's an endless well, and I always end up being called heartless and at fault. Sadly, as soon as I let my son get a foot in the door - a shower, a ride - the requests become bigger and more. Often I am just filled with grief. I am coming to accept that my son makes poor decisions and has few real life skills, and I keep excusing it by saying his choices are out of desperation. I am trying to detach, but the FOG is always at my heels. I am reading an excellent book called Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. I am the one who needs to change. And I echo what others have said to be kind to ourselves. NL, if you want to go to court, go, but for me I knew that the only reason that my son wanted me there was to put on a show of support for the court. I finally told him that I will not be involved in any thing to do with the legal system with him. I always felt stressed and worse when I went, afraid the court would ask me something that I wasn't ready for, and it happened. My son also continues to lie and get released to my address even though I have told him no. [/QUOTE]
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