It must be Monday because I'm LIVID with difficult child 1

[gcvmom]

Just checked my wireless bill online for the month. It's got an extra $157 in charges. They are linked to husband's phone and difficult child 2's phone, from which you can access the internet, however we do not have a data plan for those phones because neither of them use that feature. difficult child 1 has a pay-as-you-go phone which has NO internet access.

Well guess who helped himself to their phones late at night last month? That's right, difficult child 1. I know this because difficult child 2 report to me (in a very puzzled tone) that someone had put pictures of a vagina and a bikini clad girl on his phone. A week or so later, husband commented to me that he thought someone had been messing with his phone because he had turned it off before he went to bed and the next morning, the battery was about dead and someone had turned the volume all the way down. I checked the history on his phone, and sure enough, someone was surfing for porn.

I chewed out difficult child 1 this afternoon, and he did admit to doing these things. Now husband and I need to figure out a consequence that will actually have an impact on him. It's either going to come out of his allowance for the next hundred years or out of the measley savings he has in the bank. And what other sanctions we'll take also needs to be discusssed.

I. AM. SO. FLIPPIN'. TIRED. OF. THIS.

 

[Wiped Out]

ARGH! I don't blame you for being tired of dealing with this. Hugs.

 

[smallworld]

It sounds Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or mood-disorder related. I'm wondering if the wrong medications are contributing to the problem or the right medications aren't at a therapeutic level. Just a thought . . .

 

[gcvmom]

Oh absoultely something's not at the right level! GAH!

I'm calling the psychiatrist tomorrow after I calm down. Then I'm looking for a therapist. I cannot continue to deal with this on my own.

 

[Marguerite]

Find a therapist. Bill difficult child 1 for the charges and make him work it off if he can't pay it off. Then find the most unattractive poster you can, of perhaps a burka-clad woman or similar level of bodily cover-up in drab colours (I am not meaning to be racist, religiousist or any other -ist, just trying to find an example of full female cover-up in a poster) and stick it up on his wall, or make it the wallpaper on his phone.

Something I did with difficult child 1 when he was dabbling in porn - I sat him down beside me at the computer and surfed for "dead porn stars". Then we read up on how the actor/actress died and how messy it was. I then said to him that the porn industry chews people up so whenever he is looking at any images or film, he is looking at someone being raped. They may have 'agreed' to do it, but they need the money desperately, or someone has some sort of hold over them, or they may think it's a path to fame and glory only to find it's a death trap and they can't easily escape.

Some do escape, but not many. And he won't know the backstory behind any of the photos or film.

Whether you believe Linda Lovelace or not, what she wrote about her experiences of appearing in her most famous movie "Deep Throat" might, just might, get the message through. she said that although in the film it looks like she's really enjoying what she was doing, she was in realty an abused, battered wife threatened with murder if she didn't make it look believable.

It worked on difficult child 1 (maybe too well!). From what you've said about difficult child 1, I don't know how successful this method will be, but it could be worth a try.

Besides, scanning the net for porn is fun, but not if your mother is with you. That makes a guy feel really ooky.

Marg

 

[Im a Believer]

So sorry ~ Son definitley needs to work this off somehow to repay you ~ Not sure if he has a job but it is lawn mowing season and the time of year that we have lots of spring yard clean up. {hugs}

 

[serenityprayer]

(((((((((((gcvmom))))))))))) Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DaisyFace]

GCVMom--

Call your cell phone company. They can actually BLOCK internet access from the phones...

We do not have an internet plan for our cell phones because husband and I never use it--BUT, husband recently got a new phone where the button to access internet was the one that used to access his contact list on the old phone. So he racked up $30 in internet charges just by accidentally pushing the wrong button looking for his contact list! We called Verizon and they blocked the feature completely. So now it doesn't matter whether he hits the wrong button--the phone will not connect to the web.

The only consequence that has ever had any impact on my difficult child is "returning the favor". IOW--if difficult child used something without the person's permission....that person can go and select ANYTHING that belongs to difficult child and use it for the day (or the weekend or whatever). This seems to bug difficult child to no end and has had an impact on her decision to use somebody else's stuff without asking.

difficult child 1 borrowed a couple phones--let husband and difficult child 2 borrow something of his.

And, if you rack up a bill...you are of course, responsible for paying it back. If you don't have the money? Too bad...you have to work it off. I'm sure there are some chores (real work, not busy stuff) that needs doing at your place.

Good luck!

 

[DammitJanet]

I would call the cell company too. I think you can block the data if you get to the right people or the tech support can talk you through blocking it on your particular phone. I know on both my phone and Billy's phone we could disable the ability to access the web (god forbid!) if we wanted to change the address. In fact , I did that on my old phone with Tmobile because Cory and Mandy were sending text messages.