It stings

[tiredmommy]

I just read the Occupational Therapist (OT)'s letter to the SD; she describes Duckie as having "significant" sensory dysfunction. It stings when you see it in writing.

 

[timer lady]

TM, I've said/ thought the same thing when I get quarterly staffing reports or new evaluations on kt &/or wm. It's hard to see it down in writing - it does sting.

I know that you'll, once the sting lessens, do whatever is necessary for Duckie. It's just who you are & the kind of warrior mom you continue to be time after time.

 

[smallworld]

TM, I'm sorry.

Is it possible the Occupational Therapist (OT) made it sound worse so the SD will do more?

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks Linda. It really is hard to think of her as having significant dysfunction because she manages pretty well most of the time. She "passes" for typical.

 

[KTMom91]

I think that's the hardest thing...when they "pass" for typical.

Hugs, TM.

 

[tiredmommy]

SW- I don't think so. Duckie has been really struggling in school for several months. She, unfortunately, tends to come across as just bratty and difficult but I can usually tell the difference.

KtM- Yes, sometimes she even fools me, lol!

 

[Jena]

((hugs)) never easy......... i always feel that way when i get the school classification letters, notes, etc. i'm like what who my kid?? oh yea my kid.

 

[crazymama30]

yep, seeing it in black and white sends a knife into my heart. I especially try to avoid seeing difficult child sons or husband's gaf scores. The last time husband was d/c'd (yes d/c'd, not admitted) from psychiatric hospital? His gaf was 45. Yeah, that is sure functional. NOT. With difficult child son, the school psychiatric testing was hard to read. He is so not in tune to what is really going on. I am at the same time dreading and looking forward to the neuropsychologist testing that I am setting up for him. My concern is that while it will help him in the long run, it will also just add more of an alphabet soup to his diagnosis's.

 

[susiestar]

It is so hard to read about our kids on paper. Somehow it always seems worse and more when it is written down. Just recently I sat and took a look at all the things that thank you has trouble with. He only has a 504 and other than Occupational Therapist (OT) and a relaxed attendance policy (he can take more sick days that "normal" kids because he gets so overwhelmed by sensory stuff and it can take days to recover if he doesn't take a day off when it starts) he doesn't have any accommodations. But socially he just doesn't "get it". So he gets bullied and cannot see how he triggers some of it. I see more aspie traits in his social problems, and it makes me sad. I wish he had it easeir. Looking at it all written down the other day I just sat and cried. Cause the ONLY thing I EVER wanted for my kids was for them to be happy and healthy.

(((((hugs)))))

 

[BusynMember]

TM, this is what I have always told myself through all of my son's hard-to-take diagnoses (or not-hard-to-take-but-hard-to-hear).

"He is the same child today and he was yesterday."

I hope this helps. Hugs to you. I know exactly how you feel.

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks everyone... I guess I wasn't expecting the word "significant" to be part of the wording. As for her being the same child she was yesterday? Yep! And we're having our usual morning pokiness with all her lovely attitude (NOT!).

 

[ML]

Gosh I so get this. Believe it or not, after all these years, I still find myself with something not quite like denial, but less than acceptance. Manster went 4.5 months with his teacher thinking he was the best student and thinking I was crazy to have a 504 for him... then the second half of the year I got the email note from him that was his "aha" moment and he was fustrated with manster's not paying attention and daydreaming -- like it was some new thing.

I don't meant to hijack your thread but I realize it's only very recently that I accept manster really is on the spectrum. He is so good at doing normal most of the time that I can easily forget most of the time. It's still hard.

 

[tiredmommy]

ML- you're not hijacking... just reinforcing that we're not alone in this. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[Malika]

Just a pedantic wordsmith's note: "significant" does not only mean "extensive" - its more accurate meaning is "worthy of note". And worthy of note really only means that it is present, that it exists... I do not know how your Occupational Therapist (OT) meant it. It does not, in any case, alter the feeling of, as you say, actually seeing something in writing, which seems to confer the sense of an absolute, unalterable truth...

 

[tiredmommy]

Yes, Malika... it seems much more absolute.