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Parent Emeritus
it was exactly as i suspected....
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 426536" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>OK- I think I get what you were trying to say originally now. As far as her, she's 18 now and no longer your responsibility. I'd be making sure that point was made- by being silent and keeping the door locked for a while, espcially after today. Give her a chance to really miss you- but remember that when you are 18, invincible, have new-found freedom, and think you know everything, that will take a lot longer than you want it to. I'm not saying that meaning that you should expect her to come back apologizing someday and this is a method to make that happen. I'm saying it because she really does need to feel that and see that things have changed. The first time you see her cry, don't take that as her ready to come back- take that as another tiny baby-step in the process of growing up- not coming back but growing up and being on her own. And if she ever lives with you again, it won't be the same- it can't be whether you allowed it or not. I suggest regrouping to consider your household from now on being you, husband, and difficult child, and having an older difficult child (not easy child) who lives out on her own. Period.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 426536, member: 3699"] OK- I think I get what you were trying to say originally now. As far as her, she's 18 now and no longer your responsibility. I'd be making sure that point was made- by being silent and keeping the door locked for a while, espcially after today. Give her a chance to really miss you- but remember that when you are 18, invincible, have new-found freedom, and think you know everything, that will take a lot longer than you want it to. I'm not saying that meaning that you should expect her to come back apologizing someday and this is a method to make that happen. I'm saying it because she really does need to feel that and see that things have changed. The first time you see her cry, don't take that as her ready to come back- take that as another tiny baby-step in the process of growing up- not coming back but growing up and being on her own. And if she ever lives with you again, it won't be the same- it can't be whether you allowed it or not. I suggest regrouping to consider your household from now on being you, husband, and difficult child, and having an older difficult child (not easy child) who lives out on her own. Period. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
it was exactly as i suspected....
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