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Parent Emeritus
it was exactly as i suspected....
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 428276"><p>I did a life-changing hitch in the army long ago and I can tell you with certainty that yes, your change is driven by more than just the certainty of punishment and that you just can't get away with anything any more, but the absolute certainty that you have no choice whatsoever but to comply and go by the rules and the demands upon you, at risk of very stern and unpleasant consequences if you don't (and no escape hatch--if you just give up and/or defy them, they don't let you go home: they send you back to day 1 in another basic training platoon, which is absolutely unthinkable), is what principally drives the inner changes within you. You learn that you can do very difficult things that you had no idea you could do, and that breeds real pride in yourself, and that you can rise to seemingly insurmountable challenges, and that you can handle degrees of discomfort and hardship that you previously regarded as impossible. And I repeat that all of this was centrally driven by the system of stern demands and inescapable, unwavering consequences that were forced to contend with. In a word, discipline. They present an incredibly tough challenge to you, show you how to accomplish it, and refuse to tolerate lack of effort or quitting or laziness or (especially) defiance or resistance. This puts you into a situation where you have no choice but to try as hard as you can--harder than you've ever tried before--and thus succeed--which breeds huge feelings of self-worth, merited pride in accomplishment, strength, and newfound capability to do amazing things. It changes many lives forever.</p><p></p><p>Again, I'm not saying that this is the only way to fix a difficult child--not by a long shot. I just wanted to clarify how and why it works so well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 428276"] I did a life-changing hitch in the army long ago and I can tell you with certainty that yes, your change is driven by more than just the certainty of punishment and that you just can't get away with anything any more, but the absolute certainty that you have no choice whatsoever but to comply and go by the rules and the demands upon you, at risk of very stern and unpleasant consequences if you don't (and no escape hatch--if you just give up and/or defy them, they don't let you go home: they send you back to day 1 in another basic training platoon, which is absolutely unthinkable), is what principally drives the inner changes within you. You learn that you can do very difficult things that you had no idea you could do, and that breeds real pride in yourself, and that you can rise to seemingly insurmountable challenges, and that you can handle degrees of discomfort and hardship that you previously regarded as impossible. And I repeat that all of this was centrally driven by the system of stern demands and inescapable, unwavering consequences that were forced to contend with. In a word, discipline. They present an incredibly tough challenge to you, show you how to accomplish it, and refuse to tolerate lack of effort or quitting or laziness or (especially) defiance or resistance. This puts you into a situation where you have no choice but to try as hard as you can--harder than you've ever tried before--and thus succeed--which breeds huge feelings of self-worth, merited pride in accomplishment, strength, and newfound capability to do amazing things. It changes many lives forever. Again, I'm not saying that this is the only way to fix a difficult child--not by a long shot. I just wanted to clarify how and why it works so well. [/QUOTE]
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it was exactly as i suspected....
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